Tag Archives: Missionaries

Oct. 27, 2025 – Recovery support and a relationship case study

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As Group Leaders, Sister Hardman and I have conducted Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings on Maui Hawaii for about six months. We also conduct a weekly remote session by Zoom for participants on Maui, Moloka’i, and Lana’i, and anyone else across Hawaii that may want to attend. We participate in ongoing training and coordination with our counterparts in other parts of the country. We have learned much on how to conduct these meetings and how to provide love and support to those with compulsive or addictive behaviors. With the Savior in our hearts, compassion comes naturally.

We’ve met over two dozen people who have come to our meetings; some once or twice, some for a month or two, and some more continuously. Since these meetings are anonymous and confidential, we don’t take roll but we get to know them by their first names. As we read and discuss the 12 steps of recovery we sense a measure of their pain followed by the hope they feel as they seek Healing through the Savior. Their observations about Gospel principles are often profound. Their sharing about their experiences are heartbreaking, and we are anxious for their hope and success in recovery. Some find it difficult to find helpful and appropriate individual support. They plead for help.

Why are we sharing this with our friends and family? To encourage you to consider providing support to anyone you may know struggling with compulsive or addictive behaviors and is striving to recover. Presently we have several who attend faithfully. However, they often feel isolated and wonder where to turn for individual help. We read in the guide book that “Support from others is important to help us find recovery and healing. Having someone we can turn to in times of weakness often proves to be essential… It is easy to fall back into these behaviors without the support and perspective of others. Connecting with others not only provides the encouragement we may need but also helps us remember that we are worthy of love as children of God.” You can imagine that this last point is so poignant and powerful; to receive love from others when one doesn’t feel worthy of love! What a consequential way to minister!

In the guidebook, participants are encouraged to benefit from the following sources of support:

  • Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
  • Family Members
  • Friends
  • Ecclesiastical leaders
  • Sponsors
  • Recovery meetings, and
  • Mental health and medical professionals.

Again, we invite each reader of this letter to consider making yourself available to persons in need of support. Learn about the program and how to support others at https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org.

(From the list above, “Sponsors are people who have found recovery by working through the 12 steps. Because of their experience, they know how to help…” In the Church’s program, sponsors are not assigned. Asking for help is a personal decision of prayerfully considering trustworthy people who they feel comfortable with or would be most helpful.) https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/addiction-recovery-program-2023/17-appendix-support?lang=eng)

On Sunday, we attended our stake conference, enjoyed Zoom visits with our family, then we met by Zoom for the coordination meeting with our Hawaii Family Services ARP manager and other Group Leaders. They serve across the Hawaiian Islands and like us, come from across the country. We feel blessed to associate with these wonderful service missionaries who give of their time and hearts to provide compassion and support to those in need. May we encourage our readers, especially seniors to consider any kind of service mission.

Other activities – For physical exercise and fresh air, Sister Hardman and I regularly walk the beach. For emotional health we continue to visit parts of the island, meet people, and serve in our local ward as youth Sunday School teachers. For spiritual health we read scriptures and other inspiring works including General Conference talks, BYU Devotionals, and church publications. 

A great communications case study – We also enjoy reading local church history; specifically, “George Q. Cannon, Hawaiian Missions.” This week we read a journal entry that we recommend, dealing with hurt feelings and misunderstandings among friends, companions, or in this case fellow missionaries. We are certain all can relate to their experience.

Monday, 6 September, 1852. “…While eating breakfast Bro. Hawkins made some remarks about the field that he had been appointed to preside over and said he felt it to be a large one and he would like it if someone could take charge of Kula branch if they felt like it &c. &c. Bro. Hammond,” agreed and said, “that the way things had been going on was not calculated to do well, no one having a settled place, but first one preaching at one time at a place and then another following and preaching at that same place, & the first leaving things partly settled thinking that the one following would attend to it…” Elder Cannon asked how it could be avoided and referred to their previous council meeting where, “we had taken measures to prevent confusion of this kind… There were several remarks and replies made backward and forward and considerable feeling manifested…” Allusions, insinuations and assumptions of partiality heated the conversation. “…I then arose and told my feelings…and disclaimed all thought of doing as he said I had done in regard to favoring some to the prejudice of others &c. &c. And I wished him to state in what respect I had done this and what his reasons were for making the remarks he had.”

The group conversed back and forth at length retracing the interactions that caused the feelings. Some had questioned the authority of others. Some had felt slighted from others. Mistakes were acknowledged and apologies were given for unintended expressions or snubbing, and rational decisions were made.

One “had felt that he was treading on toes and therefore he had made the remark ‘that he was only a passenger on board the Ship.’ These things had grieved him because he thought there was a disposition to keep him back especially when he thought that he had made sacrifices as well as his brethren [and] that he had done all he could do. I arose and attempted to speak but could not as my feelings were so much wrought up that I could not express my feelings… I never, to my remembrance, in my life experienced such feelings, they were exquisite and I felt cut down to think that Bro. H. [Hammond] & I had mingled together and I had unbosomed myself to him time and again and yet all this time he had these feelings against me and had hinted to me and I had been so dull that I did not understand—these thoughts oppressed me and it was in vain that I tried to express them for a while…I prayed to the Lord to calm my feelings by His Spirit and I did experience a calm…the storm had passed and the gush of feeling had subsided and I felt that it would all come out right. I arose and spoke and was enabled to tell my feelings and I had the spirit—I reminded Bro. H. that…I merely told my feelings at that time without the least design to retard him in any particular…”

“We had a good deal of talk and laid our feelings open one to the other and settled it all satisfactorily to all parties…I thought this worthy of note that I might be reminded to ascertain at all times the feelings of the brethren and to cultivate at all times a spirit of candor that we might have no misunderstandings.”(https://www.churchhistorianspress.org/george-q-cannon/1850s/1852/09-1852)

Oct. 13, 2025 – Fellowshipping and Fellow Missionaries

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Serving requires compassion and emotional resilience, either because of our own shortcomings, or because of heartbreak in the lives of those we serve in the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). I’m trying to learn more each week to find peace in the Lords way, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27)

We had the blessing of attending Zone Conference this past week with the full-time missionaries. Although not officially part of the full-time mission, we felt welcomed and loved. We cross paths with them regularly as they often have friends (investigators) that need support in the ARP. The full-time missionary senior couples in particular have adopted us, befriended us, and encouraged and supported us ever since we arrived six months ago. They invited us as usual to their senior couple dinner the night before Zone Conference, and then encouraged us to attend. We are part time service missionaries serving under the direction of our local stake president, so we felt a little out of place but they treated us as part of the mission. (See Zone Conference photo)

We are not the only ones who need faith in times of fear. We listened carefully as the Mission Leaders taught important principles to the missionaries. My notes included:

President Anderson

  • “Fear does not come from God…”
  • “It is hard to be truly humble so He humbles us…”
  • “Hundreds of miracles are happening all over the mission…”
  • “How have I seen Gods hand in my life today? Write it in your journal.”

Sister Anderson

  • “Avoid comparing ourselves with others. We are miserable when we do…”
  • “Emulate with charity…take the good of others…”
  • “Let God prevail in your life.”

This Zone Conference experience brought back memories from the mission of my youth forty-five years ago in California. At that time I remember not only my interest in sharing the gospel, but my heart-felt interest in the missionaries, their spiritual and emotional success. As an assistant to the president those many years ago, I felt a strong desire to teach, encourage, and love my fellow missionaries and leaders. We felt that great spirit of unity, purpose, and love this past week with the full-time missionaries. Our participation concluded with a group photo and lunch. 

Sister Hardman and I now conduct two ARP support meetings each week. One of the meetings is in-person with participants at our local stake center high-council room. The other is by Zoom so that people from distant locations can participate including Hana, Molokai, and Lana’i. Participation varies from a few to a dozen each week. Per policy and instructions, what is shared by participants during the meeting is not discussed outside the meeting to encourage helpful sharing between them. However, we encourage everyone to be aware of the program and its blessings. To do so, you may want to watch or listen to one or more recorded ARP meetings which exist to support persons who can’t attend or who haven’t felt the need or courage yet to attend. Here are a few places you can go to see what it’s all about. 

The last one in the list, the “Coming Back” Podcast, is not an official church production, but on a recent scenic drive to Hana, Joan and I felt heartbreak for what this individual went through in part due to addictions. We were grateful to learn of the many miracles experienced by him and his family. It gave us hope for the people that we meet every week in our service. We also found renewal in socializing with some adult couples in the Kihei Ward.

As members of the church, we have been friendshipping a neighbor family. They are kind and love to speak about Jesus Christ. One is a member and the other two are not. The member hasn’t been attending for several years but they all express interest in coming to church again. We had previously introduced them to the missionaries and on Saturday the missionaries invited us to visit with them together. We listened at length while the inactive brother shared his love of God and Christ but also shared many pains and disappointments he was carrying in his heart. After some time we asked if we could read scriptures with him. He said, “How about right now.” We found a somewhat private place in the apartment common area and each of us shared a favorite Book of Mormon scripture. Knowing of the wrestle this brother was having, when it was my turn I chose Enos who wrestled with the Lord and later after much prayer found peace and healing. “Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed. And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away. And I said: Lord, how is it done? And he said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ… wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.” (Enos 1:5-8)

After we all shared a scripture we each bore testimony to him of the truth of the Gospel and of God’s love for us and for him. We felt the Lords spirit there and were grateful to be a part of that meeting.

On Sunday, as directed by our stake president we attended two wards for sacrament meeting and to make brief announcements in Priesthood and Relief Society regarding the ARP. “I enjoyed the ward-hopping,” Sister Hardman said. We then enjoyed a Zoom call with our children and grand-children.

Oct. 6, 2025 – Light shining in darkness

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Caption?

A young Eucalyptus tree growing on a volcano

Light penetrating the clouds as we walk through them

Lunch with missionaries who just arrived on the island

Sunsets and moon-risings

Sand refined and smooth

I could talk about the challenging moments this week, in all their varieties – physical, emotional, and spiritual – but I feel to focus on the light that shone through to illuminate each of those learning moments. As Elder Peter M. Johnson read in General Conference on Sunday, “Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God…I am the light which shineth in darkness…” (D&C 6:21) The light of General Conference including the music was a personal blessing. Sister Tracy Browning taught, “Sacred music can shine the Light of Christ on the hearer and can pour it into the heart of the singer.” (Sister Tracy Y. Browning, 2nd Counselor in the Primary General Presidency)

We began our General Conference having prayed all week for those preparing and participating in the conference. After the Saturday morning session we had breakfast at a members home with the full-time missionaries and other guests. A non-member friend of the family was there and we all had wonderful conversation about Jesus Christ and the Church. He was very anxious to bring ‘religious structure’ back into his life. We all encouraged with love.  

Later that day, we felt prompted to visit our neighbors. As we entered their home to pleasant smiles, Jana’i looked up from the tea-leaf weaving project she was preparing for local school children. I said, “Can we tell you why today is such a blessing?” Curtis and Jana’i nodded yes. “It is General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” They again nodded with some recognition of what this is. We continued, “It is so wonderful to hear so much encouragement and joy and messages about Jesus Christ.” Jana’i replied, “I feel and appreciate your enthusiasm.” From prior conversation we knew that their son had been baptized years ago when some of his friends left on missions. They talked about other friends they’ve had who are members of the Church and have had a positive influence on them. To our invitation to join us to watch General Conference they politely said, “Maybe next time,” so we gave them the link and encouraged them to participate. After more mutually enjoyable conversation we departed till our next visit.

We’d like to now share a couple examples of light shining through some challenging moments this week.

Emotional – At our Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meetings we often feel some of the weight that we imagine addicts carry as they seek healing and sobriety in a world filled with ongoing trials and temptations. There are times when I personally feel overwhelmed for them and my heart aches. True, we don’t know exactly what they are going through. But we do our best to love and read scriptures with them and encourage the light of Christ to shine through the darkness. ARP Step 5 involves the principle of confession and more than one person expressed how hard it is to confess to ecclesiastical leaders who haven’t experienced what they are going through. When I bore my testimony this week, I feel like I fell short of expressing Christlike love. But after the meeting the Spirit helped me see light that was indeed shining through the darkness, even though not obvious to me at the time.

Spiritual – One form of spiritual darkness is when doubt or fear accompanies the loss of hope in one or more eternal blessings. But here again, the potential light is in the process of applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ, learning the truth thereby overcoming or allowing Christ to disperse the darkness. I won’t go into personal specifics here, but I am learning more and more what He meant, “If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31-32) Revelation through the Holy Ghost while studying the Word – frees us from many things including darkness that can come from false or incomplete understandings.

As an engineer, my ears perked up this weekend when President Eyring said, “Long ago I sought to learn physics and mathematics in my college years. I felt overwhelmed…” He went on to express how challenging and discouraging it was. He prayed and received, “I am proving you, but I am also with you.” He then shared, “I learned that my struggle with physics was actually a gift from the Lord. He was teaching me that with His help, I could do things that seemed impossible if I had the faith…” (Henry B. Eyring, Oct. 2025)

As we review our week, mission, and life, we see that most days have been filled with light. A young Eucalyptus tree growing on a volcano, light penetrating the clouds as we walk through them, lunch with missionaries who just arrived on the island, sunsets and moon-risings. The blessings of the Gospel, the Earth, and family are wonderful. The more we study the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the brighter we see our past, present and future. We are very grateful for our Father in Heaven, His Son Jesus Christ, and the comfort and revelation from the Holy Ghost. Like life, while walking on the beach, our bare feet leave depressions in the infinite and perfect grains of soft coral sand. When we turn back we see the waves rush in and flow back out, our footprint gone, the sand even more refined and smooth. As we walk intentionally through life with Him, baring our souls amidst his righteous waves, He refines us even in the process and presence of his beautiful creations. We are grateful for these moments, and the light of the Earth and all our Father in Heaven has prepared for his children.

Aloha, and Mahalo.