Kenneth Richard Hardman

Wonderous Experiences this week

Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine.

Honolulu Tabernacle

We had an open schedule a week ago so we printed some ordinance name cards, boarded Southwest Airlines and took a temple trip, just Sister Hardman and me to Oahu. Upon landing and before the beautiful journey to Laie, we ventured downtown and toured the famous Honolulu Stake Tabernacle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A kind brother, Family History Library patron, gave us an impromptu tour of the complex which serves as a large gathering place for many wards and branches. Dedicated in 1941, the beautiful Filipino apitong-paneled walls draw reverence and respect. Known by its 141-foot high mosaic of Christ and reflection pool, it is a beautiful place of worship amidst a towering busy city.

Hawaii Laie Temple

Instead of going the shortest way through the tunnels to the north shore, we drove to the east most point of Oahu to see the shoreline. It was a pleasant drive all the way around passing the Halona Blowhole Lookout, then around through Kaneohe and on to Laie. We checked into our hotel, changed, and made our way to the beautiful Hawaii Laie Temple. In addition to the proxy service to others, the endowment and sealings always reward us patrons with new insights, impressions, revelation and peace. In my journal I wrote, “I was very impressed during the endowment and sealings with the boldness and specificity with which God and the universe operates. Apparently two lives, even many lives can’t just be eternally linked without a God given, universe approved power to bind them together.” While waiting between sessions I reviewed the scripture, “It may seem to some to be a very bold doctrine that we talk of—a power which records or binds on earth and binds in heaven.” (see D&C 128:8-11) After the sessions I felt inclined to study related verses. It was a wonderful temple experience, even a “marvelous work and a wonder.” (Isaiah 29:14)

Laie Shoreline

In addition to our serving by conducting several Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meetings, we were served by the spirit in meetings we attended including the adult session of the Kahului Stake conference. President Akanaka, a member of the stake presidency admonished all to, “putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ…” (Mosiah 3:19) He acknowledged that it is a constant battle to think of the things of God, and to be at Peace amidst daily challenges. He asked, “Was Daniel calm before the lions den?” He encouraged us to ask, “What has the Lord done for me today?” and then write it down.

Elder Takashi Wada, our General Authority Seventy asked, “Can the Plan of Salvation answer the problems of our day?” He used Joseph Smiths experience as an example then asked what scriptural verses or statements from leaders has changed you? “Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man that this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again,…” (Joseph Smith—History 1:12) He asked us to write down those scriptures that have had this kind of impact on us. (Among others, that prompt led me to 2 Nephi 10:2, “…that they may come to that which will give them the true knowledge of their Redeemer.” I have reflected on this a great deal. It has entered with great force into every feeling of my heart. It has led me to related scriptures, and conference talks. It has given me wisdom and hope). Thanks Elder Wada for this great step-by-step instruction.

Due to General and Stake conferences, we haven’t met with our youth as a Sunday School class for more than a month. We finally got to discuss the Gospel on Sunday in Come, Follow Me. Our topics included the Ten Commandments, the Holy Tabernacle, ancient and modern ordinances, and especially Holiness to the Lord. We love these youth. We are inspired by their faith and comments. We look forward to being with them on Trek soon in Utah. Speaking of Trek, we continue to support our bishopric in being prepared. Our hosts, the Lehi Utah Stake have been so wonderful in their love and support to our group. They are going so out of their way to make our group feel loved and prepared and included. Trek is coming up in June.

For recreation this week we saw the movie, “Michael,” which is played by his amazing nephew Jaafar Jackson. And finally, we are so grateful for the full-time missionary seniors who have been serving on Maui, and who had adopted us service missionaries into their friendship from the moment we arrived a year ago. Several of them are completing their missions soon so we all gathered for a dinner party to visit and enjoy the spirit of the work. Our forever friends, those elders and sisters departing in the next month include David and Neill Marriott (CES), Jeff and Karen Taylor (MLS up-country), and Chris and LaReesa Sherwood (MLS in Hana).

Amazed and Astonished

Whether small or great, amazing or astonishing, we are experiencing a marvelous work and a wonder.

Haleakala south side

On the extreme south side of Haleakala, along the up-country Piilani Highway far beyond the Ulupalakua Ranch, the volcano is typically very dry, very brown. But not this year. We have driven this road many times and were recently astonished at new life, even thick green grasses that covered the ten-thousand-foot-high mountain. Recent fierce Kona storms awakened seeds to life. It is beautiful. We were amazed.

Each Saturday morning we hold a special Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meeting called, “Spouse and Family Support,” for those whose lives have been adversely impacted by the choices of loved-ones. This week the Lord orchestrated a change to bless someone far from home. None of our regular attendees came as each had been drawn to activities elsewhere. A few minutes after the appointed hour, a new-comer came through the door. “Is this the 12 Step meeting?” he asked. We shook our heads and kindly said that it was, “Spouse and Family Support.” His frown and drooping eyelids indicated disappointment. We introduced ourselves and learned a little about him. The spirit prompted us to pivot. “Our other guests are not here so let’s have a 12 Step meeting, right now.” He looked encouraged and said, “Could we do Step 4?” On the spot we moved forward with the meeting. We knew that this carpenter, working temporarily on Maui needed support on his day off, this very Saturday. The meeting went well and meaningful sharing took place.

Not anxious to leave, he asked about places nearby to eat. We made a few suggestions, but he still lingered, even engaging with ward members who were conducting fundraising in the parking lot. He even returned for the fundraising dinner that evening. We stand all amazed when it is clear that God knows the situations and needs of all his children, and gently orchestrates his miracles in our lives.

Fundraising car wash

Regarding the youth fundraiser, advertising and lively signage holders on the curb in front of the meetinghouse drew many for the event. “Somewhere between fifty and eighty,” was the response when we asked how many cars were washed by the youth and advisers. “Wow. And the rummage sale?” In addition to visitor purchases, one of our ward members jokingly said, “Yah, we’re all buying each other’s stuff!” The chicken lunch sale was also a big success followed by the well-advertised, “Expensive Spaghetti Dinner,” held that night. Sister Hardman and I were part of the entertainment. Like a wagon train circled on the prairie at night, we stood in the center of the cultural hall and enthusiastically sang several songs from our old, “Hardman Pioneer Band” repertoire, Joan on the violin, me with my guitar. Following the dinner we ‘rounded up’ everyone in pioneer fashion and square danced to, “Oh, Johnny Oh,” “Heal-toe-polka,” and “Virginia Reel.”

Fundraising dinner

Elder and Sister Hardman performing

Heel Toe Polka – all ages

On Sunday morning we presented ARP training at the Kihei 1^st Ward Council. We bore testimony of God’s hand at work in the lives of all his children and reflected on amazing scriptures that evidence personal divine love. Including “When thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed…” (Isaiah 53:10). “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13) “Who for the joy set that was set before him, he endured the cross…” (Hebrews 12:2) “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind… he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people… that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people…” (Alma 7:11-12). We invited each council member to do their part inviting and encouraging others toward Healing through the Savior.

On Sunday we experienced an example of this divine succoring. Sister Wada from our ward felt inspired to call on another ward member. The latter had been in a pedestrian accident while walking her dog and was suffering and recovering from a multiple fractured leg. Sister Wada called us because of our special friendship with this sister, so we went to show our love. The full-time missionaries came with us and a priesthood blessing was provided. She was grateful.

On Monday we experienced more of the Saviors love as we conducted our weekly in-person ARP meeting. In addition to several regular attendees, we felt wonderful at the return of someone we hadn’t seen for a while, as well as a new-comer, all who participated fully in the reading and sharing. At the conclusion of the meeting I offered my testimony of the Savior. On the wall of the high council room is the well-known picture of the Savior before his ascension, “And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15). As I opened my mouth it occurred to me that Jesus was making a plea for them to make the good news known regarding what he had done for all of Gods children, the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Surely with power and great love, after having “seen his seed” and “[knowing]… how to succor his people,” he was anxious for all to Come unto Him.

Go ye into all the world (churchofjesuschrist.org)

In conclusion, there is a simple frequent experience that amazes us. It happens when in conversation with someone, local or tourist, member or non-member. When we tell them what we do they get attentive and quiet. Subdued, and with a gentle nod, they say softly, “Thank you.” Reading their eyes we know addiction has touched them or special people they know. They respond with sincere gratitude for being instruments in the hands of the Lord for Healing. We testify that the Lord heals, a healing that is part of what Isaiah, and Nephi called, “a marvelous work and a wonder.” (Isaiah 29: 14, 2 Nephi 27:26) Like rain on the leeward side of Haleakala, the power of Christ brings life, hope and peace to his followers, his seed.

Small and Large Gatherings

If we make effort to listen and observe with inspiration of the Holy Spirit, we can see divine potential in everyone

The Lord’s work includes small, medium and large gatherings. We’ve mentioned in prior posts that in addition to Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meetings we coordinate Emotional Resilience classes and also lead Spouse and Family Support meetings. The latter is for those who need healing because of the choices of loved-ones such as addiction. We can’t overstate how valuable these small and medium gatherings are, for our guests, and us. Like the ARP, each of these meetings are held in the confidential environment of the church high council room, allowing for safe sharing and compassionate support. We wish more would attend. Regardless of the emotions, source of the disappointment or hurt, we realize that all of us need hope and peace by coming unto the Savior.

In the weekly Spouse and Family Support, discussion principles range from God’s consolation, chains that bind us, taking care of self, gratitude, honesty, service, patience and peace, all wrapped warmly and completely in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This week we discussed, “In everything give thanks.” Key messages included the following:

“The more we focus on negative emotions, the stronger they become, until they begin to dominate our thoughts, diminishing our ability to feel the Spirit and find happiness.” During our session I was reminded of my theme missionary scripture from decades ago, “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken,” (Proverbs 15:13)

“As we consistently take time each day to ponder and record the things for which we are grateful, the evidence of God’s hand in our lives becomes clearer.” This includes God-given gifts and talents as well as finding the good that exists in our loved ones. “If we make an effort to listen and observe with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, we can see the divine potential in everyone, even those who have hurt us.”

After our closing prayer in the high council room, the stake president’s door opened. Standing in the doorway was President Hanks and Elder Peter M. Johnson, General Authority Seventy. Apologizing for the interruption, they invited us to continue our meeting but first Elder Johnson kindly walked over to each of us for a warm greeting and brief introduction, a small gathering, then they went back into the stake president’s office to continue their preparations for stake conference, a large gathering.

Earlier that day as encouraged by our stake presidency to all stake members, Sister Hardman and I had watched a Church video about Elder Johnson, “Running Toward the Light.” Wow! Please watch it. What a hard start in life! What faith! We quickly became more excited to hear from him that Saturday evening and again on Sunday.

That afternoon we felt prompted to text and offer a ride to one of our ARP friends to attend the evening session with us. She readily accepted. During the ride to the church we enjoyed some light conversation, a small gathering, and were grateful for her up-beat spirit. That evening Elder Johnson testified to the large gathering in his very special way that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, “is all true… It’s all true!” He invited repeatedly and in various ways each of us to share the gospel with the person or persons (small gatherings) who we were prompted to think of during the meeting. The next day, Sunday, was equally spiritual as the large gathering again met for powerful messages from President Hanks and his wife Nancy, many called from the audience for spontaneous testimonies, as well as Elder Johnsons strong, gentle, and passionate assurance that God lives, the Church is true, and true prophets lead us. He concluded with something like, “This is Christ’s church! This is His church!” Such was confirmed by the Spirit to us.

On Monday, a couple hours before our ARP meeting, we got a tender call (a small gathering) from a sister in our ward whose brother in Utah is dying of an illness. Unable to see him again due to distance, she called us for love and support. I did my best to express love and compassion, but Sister Hardman said all the right things. We offered to come over and give a priesthood blessing which our friend accepted. I texted several brothers in our ward and found Brother Davis available who joined us at her home, a small gathering, for loving conversation and a blessing which he was asked to provide. We then went to our ARP meeting for another emotional but spiritual experience.

Also this week, we’ve been wrapping up the Emotional Resilience, medium gatherings, another great Family Services course, by asking participants for testimonials to promote the next session. Here are some of the anonymous expressions.

“I am grateful for all I learned in the Emotional Resilience class. Emotions and challenges can be overwhelming! Not only the beautiful, simple, spiritual solutions benefitted me and my life; I feel less alone. I feel supported like I joined a community that we created. I felt like I was guided through life’s challenges with Heavenly Father at my side.”

“My husband and I enjoyed it very much and the chance to bond with people from our ward and stake was outstanding. There were so many good tips and suggestions for making our communications more thoughtful and I would say it was a life changing experience that will help in our families and marriage.”

“I appreciated the safe environment that was created with our intimate group. Some were very vulnerable in sharing their experiences, but it is through sharing that we are supported and feel a bond with others in our class.”

“We felt joyful and excited about all we were learning. We’ve been able to identify problems emotionally and learn valuable ways to address them and push forward. We’ve learned to communicate more effectively with each other and others. We hope to continue to apply the principles taught in class. We know they make a difference. They have for us. Mahalo!”

Angles of God Will Step In (2006)

Text: Kenneth R Hardman, Music: Mark Petersen

1. On a trail worn and rocky they came
A pathway of saints bound for God
A valley of peace was their aim
With stranger and kin from abroad

Starting late in the year
They met snow as their fate
Surely the outlook was dim
You must offer each step as a prayer
And the angels of God will step in

2. In my life as I seek to do right
Temptation and trial cloud my view
Using faith, work and courage for light
Each day will begin bright and new

3. As I walk where they walked I can feel
That strength from above helped them through
Like them I know angels are real
Giving help from above to be true

Starting late in the year
They met snow as their fate
Surely the outlook was dim
You must offer each step as a prayer
And the angels of God will step in

(Written June 2006 for the Pleasant Grove Utah Battlecreek 4th Ward Youth Conference Handcart Trek in Wyoming)

Life Surrounds

Kenneth R. Hardman (2025)

1. I love the life that surrounds me the hope and the beauty
It's the life that has found me but no I can now see
You are the taste and the color a rose and a pure stream
And your one of a kindness brings life to the best dream

Please give me your hand, I'll give my heart and we will be
Two endless as sand, never to part forever the key

2. I'll try the skills of the ages which dwell in the best man
Search for wisdom and caring with sweat work this good land
You will inspire all glory from He who knows all things
And a touch for bestowing the gift from a new queen

Please give me your hand, I'll give my heart and we will be
Two endless as sand, never to part forever the key

I love the life that surrounds me the hope and the beauty

Talk About (2025)

Kenneth R Hardman (2025)

1. Each night before we'd pray
Each child in their own way
Let's talk about, they'd say
Let's talk about the day
They'd tell about their friends
The real and the pretend
The good, the bad and then
They'd hear their father say

There's nothing you can do
To change my love for you
There's nothing you can say
Would turn my heart away
There's nothing I won't do
To show my heart's still true
I'm always here for you
Let's talk about

2. Each child now on their own
With memories they have grown
I pray for them each day
God takes in all I say
Like echos in my ear
A loving Father near
Let's talk about, I hear
I hear my Father say

There's nothing you can do
To change my love for you
There's nothing you can say
Would turn my heart away
There's nothing I won't do
To show my heart's still true
I'm always here for you
Let's talk about

Gospel Reflection – Road to Hana

Along with the clouds which poured-out all the way back home, the Lord’s spirit poured-out peace to our souls having been on his errand

Sister and Elder Hardman at Hana Branch

Being 7:00 AM on a Sunday, we owned the Hana Highway. Only ‘Mongo,’ (my name for each mongoose who ran across the road) triggered sudden taps on the brake pedal. Happily, the rain defied the forecast and each tire successfully gripped six-hundred turns giving everchanging perspective to the windward coast and lush land. We opened the window and breathed deep. Rainbow Eucalyptus, Bamboo, Banana, Taro, and the African Tulip Trees proudly displaying their striking orange-red flowers.

Our assignment was to attend the Hana Branch at 8:30 AM, train branch leaders on their role in Healing through the Savior, 12-Step Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) and after sacrament meeting present the ARP to a combined meeting of Relief Society and Elders.

During the contemplative two-hour drive Sister Hardman and I reflected on our assignment and on our experiences over the past year as ARP Group Leaders. “How does one truly obtain the power of Christ to overcome a weakness? Is it humbly believing in him and trusting him? What can we emphasize to our friends in recovery so Christ’s power can heal and sustain them? I briefly turned to Sister Hardman to see if she grew tired of so many questions without pause. She encouraged me to continue. The scenery enhanced our discussion with its seemingly endless Gospel analogies – Winding roads, frequent waterfalls and pools, water streaming its way to the ocean, narrow bridges, aboundant life, cautious turns, deep woods and mists of darkness, mud slides and fallen trees, ocean views, pounding waves… Being Sunday we couldn’t stop for fresh banana bread, but half way to Hana this thought came, perhaps some personal revelation. “Maybe it is not our place to know exactly how Christ’s power can heal and sustain each individual. Perhaps the answer lies in study, prayer, then personal revelation to each individual.”

At the small, 3-wing meetinghouse, we were warmly greeted in the customary Hawaiian way, blessed by the singing, sacrament, and special testimonies given by members, non-members, and visitors. President Satot, the local, kind and humble leader gave us generous time during council and combined meetings. Standing next to a monitor we showed the church addiction recovery website, overviewed the ARP, explained church resources, and encouraged all to invite family or friends who could benefit by these safe and compassionate support meetings.

Being two-hours from the nearest ‘in-person’ ARP sessions, we encouraged future participants to ‘call-in’ from Hana attending virtually each week. “Would it be possible,” the Relief Society president asked, “for several persons to gather here in Hana and participate in the Zoom meeting?” “Certainly,” I replied. Sister Hardman nodded. We discussed some roadblocks that addicts probably experience. Like rain, narrow bridges, or fallen trees that might impede progress on the road, embarrassment or shame might block someone from coming for support. I moved to the center of the group. We discussed the confidential and anonymous nature of the meetings but also admonished each of us present to be less judgmental of those struggling with addiction. “Jesus was and is so good showing love to the ‘one’ in need of healing, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.” We spoke of the miracle that Sister Hardman and I experience every time we host a session, “The Lord doesn’t allow us to feel any judgement, only his love and compassion in these rooms.”

“How could we get an ‘in-person’ meeting here in Hana?” From this and similar questions, it seemed evident there was immediate need for more local and frequent ARP support. I turned to the branch president, who nodded as I said, “That’s a conversation that you can discuss in Branch Council, and President Satot can consult with stake leaders to determine the best way to proceed.”

A counselor in the branch presidency had invited the youth to attend. He asked, “What advice would you give to our youth? Some of them are faced with drugs or alcohol in their homes.”

“Thank you for that question.” I silently pled for spiritual help, but fumbled through something like, “For the Strength of Youth speaks of the sacred temple-like nature of our bodies, a gift created in God’s image. It is so important to keep ourselves clean and protect our agency…” Then, remembering their deep Aloha love for Ohana, I looked at the youth and said, “You must stay close to the Lord. But you must also love and respect others. Pray and read your scriptures and receive strength and for your situation… personal revelation.” Feeling that my answer fell short, I asked the group, “Can someone please provide more help to the youth?” A good brother made a helpful comment and we moved forward.

Thanks to a prompting a few days earlier, I called upon Saul to help conclude our presentation. “Saul went about, ‘breathing out threatening’s… against the disciples of the Lord… As he journeyed… suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven: And he fell to the earth… Saul, why persecutes though me?’ Saul was blinded, then repented. The Lord commanded disciple Ananias to put his hand on Saul and heal him. ‘Then Ananias answered, Lord, I have heard by many of this man, how much evil he hath done to thy saints… But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name…” (Acts 9:1-15)

“I bear testimony that we are all chosen vessels and that God does not give up on anyone. We testify that God loves all of his children and through the Holy Ghost prompts loving and gentle ministers to bless them. Like Jesus, he sees us as we can be, not just as we are.” (Isaiah 53:10)

The rain finally caught up with the forecast. But along with the clouds which poured-out all the way back home the Lord’s spirit poured-out peace to our souls having been on his errand. We drove slower, pondering our feelings from Hana, and felt love for those special saints in God’s unique and remote paradise.

From Darkness to the Tree of Life

From a dark and dreary place, they come to the tree, taste of the fruit, and feel joy and peace, the love of God

Like the “man…in a white robe” in Lehi’s dream, the Book of Mormon gently but persistently beckons me. Recently I followed those beckoning’s and found myself shadowing Lehi through his “dark and dreary wilderness.” He prayed for mercy. I imagined him in that, “large and spacious field,” finally tasting the “white and delightsome” fruit of the tree of life. It gave such “exceeding and great joy.”¹ I considered, “Why such extremes? Why was he beckoned to wade through the “dark and dreary” to later experience “exceeding and great joy.” “What could these opposites represent in my life, and for people I know and love?” I reasoned further, “What is the great joy Lehi felt as he partook of the fruit? Like Nephi, “I [desired] to behold…” in some measure, “the things which [Lehi] saw.”²

Keawakapu Beach before and after Kona storm (photo 1)

Last week in our Healing through the Savior, 12 Step, Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) group we explored Step 5 where the key principle is, Confession. I cannot divulge specific persons or comments, but the guidebook is written by recovering addicts who empathize with readers. In these ‘rooms of recovery,’ you feel the emotion and experience of our friends who walk through their own dark and dreary waste of addiction and at length pray and ask God to help [them] have the strength [they] need to confess. With trembling they tell of the “powerful experience,” saying something like, “At first, many of us just sat and listened, but eventually we felt safe enough to share… Still, we kept many things to ourselves—shameful things, embarrassing things, heartbreaking things, things that made us feel vulnerable.”

Using words similar to these from the guidebook our friends continue, “As we [shared], we felt Jesus Christ’s love for us, which gave us hope that it would be okay… Our sponsors could see the good in us and helped us see the good in ourselves… We unloaded our heavy burdens and placed them at the Savior’s feet. We felt peace, joy, and love. This experience was sacred and sweet.”³ From a dark and dreary place, their broken hearts broke the silence. They acknowledged feeling God’s love and hope, that God sees good in all of us helping us see good in ourselves. They felt peace, love, “exceeding and great joy.” This scene repeats in each ARP meeting. They come to the tree, taste the fruit, and feel joy and peace, the love of God.

How can I feel the great joy Lehi felt? How have recent Book of Mormon beckoning’s and precepts brought me nearer to taste the love of God?⁴I considered a few recent experiences.

For physical and emotional preparation during our mission, Joan and I walk the fine corral sands of Keawakapu Beach. The water erases our footprints almost as soon as they are created. Thin layers of sand wash in and out with each wave. Recently, record breaking Kona storms poured out with fury all over Hawaii. The week-long cyclone drenched the islands with knee-deep rain and powerful ocean swells. Water flowed from up-country as parched stream beds filled. Thick mud came to rest in coastal flats closing roads. Life slowed way down as we sheltered in our apartment. Schools, businesses and churches closed. During the storm we looked through our second story window, down to the parking lot. It felt as if we were on a cruise ship sailing through flowing water.

Keawakapu Beach before and after Kona storm (photo 2)

Finally, when blue sky pushed its way through an opening in the clouds, Keawakapu Beach beckoned. We stood in disbelief. Kona had dragged waist-deep sand back into the ocean to the coral reef from where it was born. Lava rocks not visible before, protruded well above the shore.⁵ We walked, weaving our way along the new beach as thin layers of kinetic grains washed in and out with each wave as before. We wondered, “How long will nature take to renew our beautiful Keawakapu?” With the dark storm now dispersed, somehow the warm sun and blue sky held new meaning. I realized, “Perhaps such storms are what had set Keawakapu on its trajectory to beauty in the first place.” Similarly we emerged from the storm, more understanding, more grateful, in sweet light.

I’ve been battling other kinds of storms, not of addiction or nature’s elements but the pain from wisdom teeth extraction, uncertainty from heart conditions, and uneasiness of not knowing just how some concerns in life will be resolved. With each of these I wondered, “How long will it take to heal?” But, Lehi’s dream and a priesthood blessing helped my faith, patience and confidence. By immersing myself in Nephi’s vision of his fathers dream “and the interpretation thereof…”⁶ I was reassured and reminded how the Atonement of Jesus Christ (the fruit of the tree) brings peace, and over time can gather, resolve and redeem all that needs to be redeemed. I’m learning to be patient and, “wait upon the Lord,”⁷ to “see the salvation of God.”⁸ The fruit of God’s loving plan of happiness and the Atonement of Jesus Christ is indeed white, exceedingly great, and joyful.

With my mouth healing, the Kona storm behind us, and God’s plan a little more clear, gratitude dispelled darkness through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I’m grateful for the Book of Mormon which beckons by the power of the Holy Ghost. I’m grateful for Lehi, Nephi, Enos, Alma, Joseph Smith and others who shared their trajectory through darkness to light. I know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, our savior, our light and our joy, who beckons us out of darkness with patience into the light.

1 Nephi 8:4-12, Lehi speaks to his family of his dream ↩︎
1 Nephi 11:3, “And I said: I desire to behold the things which my father saw.” ↩︎
Healing through the Savior, 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program Guidebook, Step 5 ↩︎
Book of Mormon – Introduction, Joseph Smith said, “I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.” ↩︎
(See imbedded photos) ↩︎
1 Nephi 11:11, “And I said unto him: To know the interpretation thereof…” ↩︎
Isaiah 40:31, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” ↩︎
D&C 123:17, “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” ↩︎

Waiting on the Lord

It give me pause, but I am anxious to live and serve and love

Wednesday. Light rain darkened the pavement as we stepped through the occupied parking lot toward the Emergency Room. We didn’t hurry. The security officer nodded as we passed. Through the narrow window in the waiting-room door, faces turned, then watch as we pushed inside. Smelling faintly of disinfectant, the stale, damp air wrapped around us. Nearly every seat was taken. Masks covered half the faces; tired and concerned eyes covered the rest. A cough broke the silence.

One man hunched forward, pressing an ice pack against his jaw. Another stretched out a bandaged foot. A construction worker checked-in with the administrator, a spotted towel wrapped tightly around his hand held high. Another woman leaned back, her chin red and stiff. Entering, we passed a fully armed police officer standing watch beside a man in a hoodie. Across the room, another officer spoke in teen-age terms to another man whose voice and vocabulary spoke of contempt and impatience and mental illness.

We checked in then side-stepped between the tight rows finding two chairs. I lowered myself and thought, “Maybe it will pass.” It usually did. Most of my Afib episodes had resolved at home—rest, medication, deep breathing and patience. I took a deep breath; 4 seconds in, 8 seconds out. I checked my Apple Watch. My heart rate still high, my rhythm still irregular, the diagnosis displayed, “Atrial Fibrillation.” The time was 9:00 pm. Nine hours of Afib. My fourth ER visit in two years.

That last few days felt distant already. On Monday we visited low-income homes of five youth to help them fill out their permission slips for this summer’s youth handcart trek. Some lacking phones, technology, or even English skills, they needed help. That evening we conducted a compassionate adult addiction recovery support meeting. On Tuesday we helped our bishop gather youth including those we visited the day before, for productive time during spring break. “They always come if we play volleyball,” he said. On Wednesday, we had walked at Wailea Point, the ocean bright and finally calm compared with the Kona storm last week. People filled the boardwalk, the beach, the roads, the stores. Movement everywhere. Energy. Maybe too much. By afternoon in our apartment, I lay still, waiting for my heart to settle. It didn’t. So here we were.

A nurse called my name. Questions came in short bursts—history, symptoms, timing. Electrode patches were stuck all over my chest. An EKG acquired. An IV in my arm. A syringe filled with dark red. Then more waiting. Beside us, my wife leaned toward a woman clutching her abdomen. She spoke softly but with conviction pointing to the image on her smartphone—“This will help your husbands Afib,” she insisted. We nodded. Listened.

Across the aisle, a ‘local’ caught our attention as he pointed at my jacket. “BYU?” I nodded. He pulled down his mask. His face lit up. “I went to BYU-Hawaii.” “When were you there,” I asked. “In the Eighties.” A nurse came and asked me a few more questions then stepped away. I forgot my Afib for a moment and stood and moved in front of the couple. “What did you study and do at BYU?” From his curly long-haired Polynesian face he emitted a pleasing and confident smile. “Worked at the PCC on Oahu–Dancing, performing, whatever they needed.” He gestured to his wife beside him. “We married, raised four kids. Maui’s our home.” Before I could ask more, a voice called out their name, and they were gone. We never got their contact information. Finally we heard, “Hardman.” We left the waiting room and took the available bed in ER.

Amidst the busy evening, all the medical professionals were kind and effective. We were impressed and grateful. Thirty minutes later Joan was excused from the room and several doctors and nurses gathered around my bed, and readied for cardio-version. I stared at the ceiling. “Do you feel anything?” The doctor asked as he pressed the fluid into my arm. “A little pressure.” A moment later I said, “There it is…” The ceiling got fussy. “There’s the dizziness…” And I was asleep. I dreamed. Ten minutes later I woke up very relaxed and calm. The doctor informed me that they performed cardio-version twice, but each time my heart reverted to Afib. They took their time, provided necessary medications and made me stable. After painfully removing the patches from my harry chest, they released me to rest at home. The next morning I awoke and immediately checked my Apple Watch. “Sinus Rhythm.” No Afib. Relief.

Online, and in distant communication with my cardiologist, I continue to study the cause and how to reduce Atrial Fibrillation. I always have hope. But there are times when I feel not in control of the present. This is likely true with many that we meet, whether poor economically, sick physically, or addicted. I remembered the pool of Bethesda and it’s porches. “In these lay a great multitude of impotent folk, of blind, halt, withered, waiting for the moving of the water…” One of the men there, “had an infirmity thirty and eight years. When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole?… Jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk. And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked.” (John 5:2-9)

The paradise of Maui holds more than beauty. On the streets makeshift tents are ever present, real lives pressed within. There are many cultures and economic levels. In ARP meetings, hands tremble slightly as they reach for help, for hope, for God. And as we learned on a rainy night in an emergency room, there are the sick and afflicted who wait for help. My condition reminds me of my mortality. But I do not fear it. It gives me pause, but I am anxious to live and serve and love. Whatever my lot, I will wait upon the Lord. By his ever-present invitation, I “rise and walk” and serve in whatever way I can.

Seeing with New Ears

A glimpse of the eventual joy of God’s beautifully orchestrated steps

Last week we spoke about knowing Christ more deeply by walking with him, by striving to serve others as he would. We also likened him to wearing hearing aids, hearing and observing again and anew as we purposely enable sounds we have lost or not yet experienced. Please consider this analogy further.

Wailea Point

It was a pleasant Aloha Saturday morning as Joan and I drove from Wailuku to Wailea. We parked and approached the ocean boardwalk just south of the Grand Wailea resort. The ocean bay was relatively calm and we observed many visitors enjoying the beach, snorkeling, playing in and even walking on water via stand-up paddle boards. This is a familiar scene. However, on this occasion as we approached the sea my legs and feet automatically stopped and I gazed over the prominent white-ginger bushes with their scented white five-peddle flowers. My mind took a moment to correlate what I heard with the perspective that I saw.

With new interest I watched a typical wave brake from the left, and from the right. As the left and right breakers converged in the center in front of me, I saw new interactions and admired the collision with my ears. I could hear millions of droplets I hadn’t heard before breaking on the water in front of the wave. I could hear more clearly the children’s voices and the birds and the breeze and the leaves. After a moment we walked on.

Along Wailea Point I again couldn’t help but stop and stare at the rocks below. The gurgling, spraying, crashing, sound of millions of water droplets hitting the rocks as waves lightly struck. Even the sound of water retreating and dripping and babbling from the rocks back into the ocean gently sustained my attention. I was seeing anew with my ears. It was delightful.

Later we continued our preparations for the next day, Sunday, where in addition to attending our ward and Sacrament meeting, we would also make presentations to Ward Councils in two other wards on Maui. Our assignment was to report Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) progress, provide some basic training to council members, and invite them to invite others in their stewardship that could benefit from the program. A thought occurred that we should invite one or both of our ARP facilitators to attend with us and bear their testimony. We felt this in the spirit of love, love for God, love for our fellow servants, and love for those we serve. We sent the text message invitation and then moved confidently toward the sabbath and our first, early morning ward council. I wish I could share the miracles that occurred that morning, and the day before. Miracles and promptings the Lord was orchestrating even the day before as we enjoyed the boardwalk along Wailea Point. The specifics are private and confidential, but I can say the hand of God was at work blessing lives as we and others did our best to listen to his voice not knowing beforehand what he was doing.

Later that Sunday evening we gathered with a few missionaries to reflect on God’s blessings. Not critical to this story is the fact that I was still in significant pain from the Wisdom teeth extraction I experienced a week before, but still God worked his miracles even in our pain and weakness. I asked for a priesthood blessing and was blessed with great love and peace as my fellow missionaries laid their hands on my head.

These experiences helped me later in the week make some refinements to a new poem, a song I drafted a couple weeks before. It was one of those songs that started with an idea, a thought during scripture study, and how life sometimes overwhelms us and seems to control us and our selfish nature comes out in our behavior. Reviewing the sermon on the mount (Matthew 5 and 6), and pondering recent experiences confirms Jesus’ ability to open our eyes to see new things as we walk with the him, with his aid.

I’m now sixty-seven years old. I’ve lost some of my hair and some of my hearing. But the audible and spiritual renewals I felt this week gave me a glimpse of the joy one can feel through Christ-like love and service and promptings, even amidst pain, physical and emotional. What I experienced at Wailea may be a tiny glimpse of the joy of the physical resurrection. But what we experienced over that weekend may be even more profound, a glimpse of the eventual joy of God’s beautifully orchestrated steps, his agency-based redemption through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

You Open My Eyes

(Verse 1: The teaching – love your enemy)
You’ve heard it said in days of old, love your friend and hate your foe,
But Jesus said to love and bless those, who persecute the soul.
I fall short of earth and heaven, I don’t turn the other cheek,
My eye-for-eye and tooth-for-tooth ways, don’t bless the poor and meek.

(Verse 2: The teaching – judge righteously)
Now Jesus said don’t judge another, in your eye there is a beam,
The measure that you give your brother, the same you will redeem.
Do some good for one another, as you’d have them do to you,
To enter into Father’s kingdom, His will I need to do.

(Bridge: The struggle)
Life acts upon me o’r whelms me controls me,
I yield to my selfish old way.
Exerting great trust, I do what I must,
I act with His love and the dark turns to day.

(Chorus: Revelation)
You open my eyes, you open my eyes to see,
You open my ears, you open new sound to me,
You open my heart, it changes so I can be,
Like you.