Resilient and Refined

As each wave broke over the rugged lava-rocks, a distinctive clatter emerged from the retreating swell. Pausing for a moment on the black-sand beach, the unique sound explained the contrasting smooth pebbles beneath our feet. The next wave broke and then again the sound of tumbling pebbles beneath the water, nature invisibly refining from rough to smooth, from rugged to pearl-like. It was partly-cloudy and warm at Waiʻānapanapa State Park

near Hana. Many were enjoying its beauty, some from the trail, some swimming in the water, and others exploring a near-by lava tube open to the sea. 

We enjoyed the day with my brother Bob and his wife Chris who spent the week with us. On this and other days of sight-seeing we hiked to Iao Needle and waded in the stream. We were greeted by two large green sea turtles at Dragons Teeth, had a whale sighting over Honomanu Bay, took in spectacular sea-scapes on the Ke’anae Peninsula, and some banana-bread Halfway to Hana. Our visit to Waiʻānapanapa included talking to other visitors from Utah (which frequently happens because most of my casual shirts say “BYU Capstone” on them). Bob was anxious for a big hot dog so we journeyed to the food trucks in Hana.

Our service this week included two sessions of the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP), one session of ARP Spouse and Family Support, Sunday Come Follow Me class, and our first session of the course, Finding Strength in the Lord – Emotional Resilience. Like the invisible, below the surface refinement of the rough lava rock at Waiʻānapanapa, each of our service opportunities refines us and those we serve, even below the surface, to become the pearls of great price God desires us to become. 

In Come Follow Me class we studied Moses 6. Gathered in a circle on Sunday we divided the youth into small groups and gave them a few verses to read and then respond to related questions. What did God ask Enoch to do? What was Enoch’s response? How did the Lord help Enoch? What did Enoch teach? We were impressed and grateful for their thoughtful and profound responses. These are too are refining moments. Later Sister Hardman and I with Bob and Chris watched the podcast, ‘followHIM’ and learned more about these doctrinally powerful chapters. We were deeply impressed with the final verses in Moses 6 and what they teach about spiritual re-birth into the Kingdom of God including, “even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten;…” and this immediate promise of hope, as well as hope in the next life, “…that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory…” (Moses 6:59) God wants us to have hope and joy, now.

During our ARP sessions this week we also observed visible and invisible refinement as our friends ‘work the steps’ of recovery. Step 10 is, “Continue to take personal inventory, and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.” This daily accountability builds us with honest self-appraisal and open’s “ourselves to Christ’s redeeming power.” As we allow the Lord to refine our thoughts, feelings and heart, our behavior will change. I notice that I too can do much better at spiritually preparing for each day by prayerfully planning, following through, and then giving an accounting to my Father in Heaven at the end of each day. Very key to this step and refinement is daily repentance, turning from old ways to correct ways. “As we repent, we discover the truth that repentance is not a sad, restrictive ordeal but rather a joyful and liberating experience that we look forward to embracing.”

We held our first session this week of the Self-Reliance course called, “Emotional Resilience.” We have been preparing for weeks getting the word out through priesthood channels and digital flyers. We hoped that we would get at least 10 to come. Tuesday night we had 22 participants plus the service missionaries. Elder and Sister Marriott did a wonderful job facilitating lesson 1, “Building Emotional Strength in the Lord.” Using readings, videos, and discussion this lesson explains what emotional resilience is, how accepting challenges is part of God’s plan, using agency to act responsibly, experiencing the blessings of change, and expressing gratitude daily. Many new acquaintances and friendships were started that night. We are grateful that so many have a desire to receive help from the Lord to be resilient and refined in the challenging times that we live in. Next week we’ll split the group into two so more meaningful dialog can occur.

Like the initially invisible pebbles of the black sand beach, Sister Hardman and I have daily opportunities to be refined in our faith, our repentance, our character, our relationship, our obedience, our love and in our understanding of God and his plan for our salvation. We are grateful for the love we feel toward everyone we meet, everyone we serve, and our love for each other and for God. Of the truth of these things we bear testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Big Announcements

It’s time for some wonderful announcements. Let’s start with the Temple. On October 1, 2023, President Russell M. Nelson announced in general conference that a temple would be built on Maui, specifically in Kahului. When we arrived in April 2025 as members of the Kahului 1st Ward the site for the temple had not yet been announced and there was much anticipation by church members where the temple would be located. During the summer of 2025 a local real estate company announced that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had recently purchased a large parcel of land near our chapel. This refined all the speculation to a beautiful lot around the Kahului West Stake Center. Since the summer, the church has cleaned up the area and installed a chain link fence to protect it, but no official announcement yet.

On January 20th, 2026 a wonderful update came as a Church News release stated the location of the temple. The Maui Saints, and we, are very excited. “This temple will be constructed on a 7.6-acre site located along Kuikahi Drive next to an existing meetinghouse at 1300 Maui Lani Parkway, Kahului, Hawaii. Plans call for a single-story temple of 19,000 square feet and an accompanying ancillary building. This will be the city’s first temple and the first on the island of Maui.” Immediately our stake presidency put out the message, “We invite you to review the exciting news release from the Church announcing the site of the Kahului Hawaii Temple:

What an exciting time this is! We testify that God is our loving Heavenly Father, that He knows each of His children perfectly. We also testify that Jesus Christ is our living Savior and Redeemer—our advocate with the Father—and that through Him we can find peace, forgiveness, and light in this life and the life to come. We pray that we will prepare our hearts and lives for a house to be built to the Lord here on the island of Maui by seeking Him daily and by serving those around us. We also encourage each of you to maintain a current temple recommend and to attend the House of the Lord in Laie often…”

Next announcement – As mentioned in prior letters, Sister Hardman and I have been involved in church Handcart Trek reenactment activities for many years as ma’s and pa’s, camp band, and service missionaries. When we introduced ourselves to our bishop in Maui, he immediately wanted the youth of our ward to experience a trek. We were assigned to study the options which included a trek on Maui, or a trek on Oahu. We did our best to explore the possibilities for location and for locating handcarts. Last fall while visiting with our children, Brent and Jana Greenhalgh, Brent (who is the current president of the Lehi Utah Stake) suggested we consider bringing our Maui ward youth to Utah and join in their stake trek in June 2026. They will be trekking in the Current Creek area near Heber, Utah. We all thought it would be wonderful for our Maui youth to join and interact with the Lehi youth in the experiences of a trek.

Upon sharing this information with our Maui bishop, he seemed all in and excited to have his youth have an off-island historical, spiritual, cultural and social experience. A few planning meetings were held and the request was presented to our local stake president who worked with our assigned general authority to obtain permission for the youth to travel. It took some time but recently the approval came and we are now engaged in coordinating and making preparations. Coincidentally (or by divine design), the approval was received days before Brent and Jana arrived on Maui to spend a little time with us exploring Maui. So, last Sunday, Brent and Jana joined us in our Sunday School class (which happens to be the trek age youth) and got to introduce themselves and get to know many of the kids that will be coming to Utah in June. In a special trek kickoff meeting with youth and parents after church, I and Brent joined our bishop in explaining what we know so far about the coming experience. All seem excited.

This past week, in addition to conducting our Addiction Recovery Program support meetings, we enjoyed time with Brent and Jana. We took them on a walk on our favorite beach. We journeyed on the boat Kai Kanani to La Perouse Bay to amazing snorkeling (because the seas were too rough at Molokini crater). We bathed in the light of a beautiful sunset at the Grand Wailea resort and enjoyed ice cream after. Over two days we circum-navigated the entire island to drink coconut water on the Kea’Nae peninsula and take pictures along the Hana Highway. We visited the harbor in Hana then swam in the coastal cinder-cone red sand beach. We enjoyed Tai food at the Hana food trucks then hiked in the Haleakala National Park to the bamboo forest and the 400-foot Waimoku falls. We drove into the sunset on the south side of Maui. The next day we circled Maui West Mountain stopping to see distant whale in the Ma’alea Bay, through historic Lahaina (destroyed by fire two years ago), and on to Kapalua to explore the Dragon Teeth lava peninsula. We concluded the full circle trip around Maui by taking the northern route back to Wailuku finding some Mango Bread to purchase along the way. A kind member of our ward took Brent and Jana out for snorkeling along the south shores at Ahihi-Kinau Marine Preserve for another amazing experience. We brought them with us for lunch with the other senior missionaries at Nalu’s in Kihei. Then finished their visit by summiting Haleakala on a beautiful clear day, visiting the historic Pulehu chapel in Kula, tasting chocolates at the Surfing Goat Dairy, and dropping from a swing-rope into the river upstream in beautiful Iao Valley.

2026 – Off to a Good Start

Upon our return from Utah to our Maui home, we had one day to prepare for the arrival of family from California, David, Bonnie, and Dexter. We had a wonderful time being with and hosting them. And they had a wonderful time as well. More on their visit in a moment.

Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meeting attendance was down a little during the holidays but our first two meetings this year were well attended. We are very grateful for Senior Missionary, Elder Jeff Taylor for the excellent and sensitive job he does conducting the meetings when we are away. “Addictions don’t take holiday’s,” they say so we continue with the support meetings right on through holidays. Sister Hardman and I were grateful to be with our friends in Christ again and to support them in their efforts to apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ to empower them to recover.

We are currently on Step 7 of, “Healing through the Savior.” As written in the manual, and as recited by participants, “All the previous steps have prepared us for this step. Step 1 helped us to be humble and admit we were powerless over our addictions. Steps 2 and 3 helped us have enough faith and confidence in the Lord to ask Him for help. Our inventories from step 4 helped us see our characters and behaviors more clearly. Working step 5 demonstrated our courage to be honest with God, ourselves, and another person. Step 6 helped us become ready and willing to let go of our character weaknesses. We are now ready to take step 7…Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove our shortcomings.”

Each week as we read the manual together, then hear what each participant wants to share, we feel profound compassion, sometimes heartbreak, experienced wisdom, and anxious pleas for God’s help. We are blessed hearing strong and heartfelt testimonies when a participant gets to that point where they know the Lord has blessed them. The Atonement of Jesus Christ takes on powerful meaning and purpose when individuals and relationships move in the direction of healing.

We also teach Sunday School to the older youth in our ward. Picture a small classroom table in the middle of a large classroom surrounded by fifteen to twenty chairs filled with youth who are of a variety of cultures and who are attentive and reverent. Sister Hardman and I sit around the circle with them and we all try to participate as equals. A week ago the Come, Follow Me topic was, “The First Testament of Jesus Christ – Introduction to the Old Testament.” 

“When you think of the Old Testament, perhaps one of the oldest books in the world, what stories do you remember?” We engaged the students with, “How do these stories point us to Jesus Christ? That will be our goal this year, to learn to read scriptures and see how they point us to Christ.” One young man answered, “Jonah.” So we turned to Jonah and read the story. We then turned to the New Testament to see Jesus telling others directly how to see Him in that story. A young woman on my right mentioned, “Manna from heaven.” So we read from Exodus and then from the Gospel of John where Jesus told them who the bread of life is. I made a point to thank the young men in the room for administering the sacrament to us the previous hour. Other class members mentioned stories and we read the story and how they point to Christ.

The time was limited but we touched on a few other points mentioned in Come, Follow Me, then bore testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, prayed, and concluded the meeting. We love these kids.

While not in ARP and Church meetings we hosted and had fun with our family from California. With our seven-year-old grandson, they wanted to spend a lot of time on the beach and in the water. Several times we took them to our favorite beach on the island, Keawakapu in south Kihei. The corral rich sand is beautifully consistent and pleasant to walk on. The waves are gentle for families. The palms provide morning shade, and the people are very pleasant. We brought sand chairs, umbrella and tools to build sand-castles. On another day we explored the Dragon’s Teeth ancient lava flow reaching out into the powerful waves of the north shore at Kapalua. We visited the wonderful, “Maui Ocean Center,” with its many aquariums of sea creatures, educational exhibits and opportunities to learn about life common to this area of the pacific. 

We ascended the 175 steps to the lookout for the natural and historic Iao Needle which towers above Iao Valley not far from Wailuku and Kahului. We all waded in the natural stream and enjoyed God’s creations in this beautiful place. We journeyed to the south end of the island, crossing lava flows from several hundred years ago to walk coastal trails rich with shells, strong winds, a blow hole, and a few goats. We then removed the hiking shoes returning to the beautiful beaches of Makena and Wailea to play and observe the sunset. Our time together included meals and delicious places, food-trucks, extremely good ice cream at Roselani’s in Paia, and goats milk chocolates at the up-country Surfing Goat Dairy farm.

At the end of their vacation it was hard to get them on the airplane. We didn’t want them to go and they didn’t want to leave. It was blessing to have them with us. After saying goodbye, Sister Hardman and I went to Costco for a hotdog, then to a furniture store to get a new bed. While there we met a worker, Brian, who after making the sale wanted to tell us his stories of rescue and service and good-will. We listened! On Saturday evening we had dinner with our friends, Elder and Sister Marriott. They are a joy to be with. We took a two mile walk with them in the dark observing Jupiter and a few constellations. On Sunday we worshiped with our ward members who we have come to love.

The year is off to a good start.

Fiery Flying Serpents and Focusing on Jesus Christ

As service missionaries we have several callings or roles in our ward and stake. In addition to Group Leaders for the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP), we are also Sunday School teachers for the youth in our ward, and we are helping our ward plan for a special youth conference for next summer (more on that later). We are also working to provide additional self-reliance resources.

But we also have opportunity for service to our family and the world. Last Wednesday we volunteered for a four-hour shift at The Giving Machine, or Light the World Giving Machine placed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at Whalers Village mall in Lahaina. (See pictures) Donors could select from various products or services provided by local Maui charities. We overheard one family with three children step up to the machine as follows.

Dad said, “Okay, each of you can choose one item.”

The kids pressed their faces up to the glass and read their options including food, clothing, games for a needy family, or a live goat for a family needing to produce their own milk or help run a family business with milk products…

When the kids had made their selection, Mom and Dad each made their selection. I don’t know how much they donated in total, but surely each child knew the importance and value of giving. Great parents! It was an honor to participate with another ward member who wanted to serve but didn’t have a car to get there. We enjoyed the trip out to Lahaina and back with him.

On Thanksgiving Day Joan and I enjoyed a walk along a favorite beach (see picture). While returning midmorning to our apartment we noticed all the ridge windmills were turning rapidly (see picture) Since there’s no natural gas here for cooking, we presume this power was being used to cook a lot of turkeys J. Speaking of turkey we returned to our apartment for a simple but delicious Thanksgiving Dinner including pumpkin pie and just the two of us. We monitored posts from family members back home. We missed them; but It was nice. Black Friday was also peaceful and productive. Worked on some personal history research, calculated lumber needed for our Sons basement framing, then we sat on the beach reading together, “The Hawaiian Missions,” by George Q. Cannon. Very inspiring and nice sunset.

Actually we did indeed have a ‘full’ and wonder-‘ful’ Thanksgiving meal event with friends on Saturday. We gathered with four other service missionary couples. We are grateful to serve with them, learning and having a pleasant time in the process. (See picture) We were saying goodbye to one of the couples, Elder and Sister Rowe who were at the completion of their mission and returning to Orem Utah. The next morning we went to the Sacrament meeting where we heard them speak and tell about the deeply meaningful experiences they had nurturing Spanish speaking members of the community.

On Sunday afternoon we had the opportunity to speak to the Young Single Adult ward and share with them the blessing and power of Christ to help us overcome our weaknesses. We concluded our session reflecting on Fiery Flying Serpents, the Old Testament event where the Children of Israel were exposed to deadly serpents and many died. Moses prayed and was instructed to make a brazen serpent. All they had to do was look, and they would be healed but because of the simpleness of the way, many didn’t look and perished. Talking about our weaknesses, even if they are addictions, we need to stay focused on Christ, every day, to follow him, learn of him, grow in strength with him, and be healed by him. We were blessed with the Spirit in the meeting. While exhorting and trying to straiten his brothers, Nephi put it this way. 

“And he loveth those who will have him to be their God. Behold, he loved our fathers, and he covenanted with them, yea, even Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and he remembered the covenants which he had made; wherefore, he did bring them out of the land of Egypt.

And he did straiten them in the wilderness with his rod; for they hardened their hearts, even as ye have; and the Lord straitened them because of their iniquity. He sent fiery flying serpents among them; and after they were bitten he prepared a way that they might be healed; and the labor which they had to perform was to look; and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished.” (1 Nephi 17:40-41, Book of Mormon)

The week rounded out on Monday as we prepared for our weekly ARP meeting. Early in the day, to learn more about the man who is now our Prophet we watched a BYU Devotional from 1978, the year I was on my first mission. BYU President Dallin H. Oaks said that it is important what people think about us as members of the BYU community. The talk was called, “Where much is Given…” We recommend the talk and recommend listening to talks by President Oaks.

Finally, Monday night we were blessed again with love and compassion for our ARP guests, some who are progressing in their recovery and Healing through the Savior, and others who we are grateful that they are just coming and feeling and trying. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is love and power, and it blesses those who love and are loved. Sister Hardman provided raspberry cookies, each with a raspberry on top. She named them Haleakala’s, or little volcanoes.

Oct. 27, 2025 – Recovery support and a relationship case study

As Group Leaders, Sister Hardman and I have conducted Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings on Maui Hawaii for about six months. We also conduct a weekly remote session by Zoom for participants on Maui, Moloka’i, and Lana’i, and anyone else across Hawaii that may want to attend. We participate in ongoing training and coordination with our counterparts in other parts of the country. We have learned much on how to conduct these meetings and how to provide love and support to those with compulsive or addictive behaviors. With the Savior in our hearts, compassion comes naturally.

We’ve met over two dozen people who have come to our meetings; some once or twice, some for a month or two, and some more continuously. Since these meetings are anonymous and confidential, we don’t take roll but we get to know them by their first names. As we read and discuss the 12 steps of recovery we sense a measure of their pain followed by the hope they feel as they seek Healing through the Savior. Their observations about Gospel principles are often profound. Their sharing about their experiences are heartbreaking, and we are anxious for their hope and success in recovery. Some find it difficult to find helpful and appropriate individual support. They plead for help.

Why are we sharing this with our friends and family? To encourage you to consider providing support to anyone you may know struggling with compulsive or addictive behaviors and is striving to recover. Presently we have several who attend faithfully. However, they often feel isolated and wonder where to turn for individual help. We read in the guide book that “Support from others is important to help us find recovery and healing. Having someone we can turn to in times of weakness often proves to be essential… It is easy to fall back into these behaviors without the support and perspective of others. Connecting with others not only provides the encouragement we may need but also helps us remember that we are worthy of love as children of God.” You can imagine that this last point is so poignant and powerful; to receive love from others when one doesn’t feel worthy of love! What a consequential way to minister!

In the guidebook, participants are encouraged to benefit from the following sources of support:

  • Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
  • Family Members
  • Friends
  • Ecclesiastical leaders
  • Sponsors
  • Recovery meetings, and
  • Mental health and medical professionals.

Again, we invite each reader of this letter to consider making yourself available to persons in need of support. Learn about the program and how to support others at https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org.

(From the list above, “Sponsors are people who have found recovery by working through the 12 steps. Because of their experience, they know how to help…” In the Church’s program, sponsors are not assigned. Asking for help is a personal decision of prayerfully considering trustworthy people who they feel comfortable with or would be most helpful.) https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/addiction-recovery-program-2023/17-appendix-support?lang=eng)

On Sunday, we attended our stake conference, enjoyed Zoom visits with our family, then we met by Zoom for the coordination meeting with our Hawaii Family Services ARP manager and other Group Leaders. They serve across the Hawaiian Islands and like us, come from across the country. We feel blessed to associate with these wonderful service missionaries who give of their time and hearts to provide compassion and support to those in need. May we encourage our readers, especially seniors to consider any kind of service mission.

Other activities – For physical exercise and fresh air, Sister Hardman and I regularly walk the beach. For emotional health we continue to visit parts of the island, meet people, and serve in our local ward as youth Sunday School teachers. For spiritual health we read scriptures and other inspiring works including General Conference talks, BYU Devotionals, and church publications. 

A great communications case study – We also enjoy reading local church history; specifically, “George Q. Cannon, Hawaiian Missions.” This week we read a journal entry that we recommend, dealing with hurt feelings and misunderstandings among friends, companions, or in this case fellow missionaries. We are certain all can relate to their experience.

Monday, 6 September, 1852. “…While eating breakfast Bro. Hawkins made some remarks about the field that he had been appointed to preside over and said he felt it to be a large one and he would like it if someone could take charge of Kula branch if they felt like it &c. &c. Bro. Hammond,” agreed and said, “that the way things had been going on was not calculated to do well, no one having a settled place, but first one preaching at one time at a place and then another following and preaching at that same place, & the first leaving things partly settled thinking that the one following would attend to it…” Elder Cannon asked how it could be avoided and referred to their previous council meeting where, “we had taken measures to prevent confusion of this kind… There were several remarks and replies made backward and forward and considerable feeling manifested…” Allusions, insinuations and assumptions of partiality heated the conversation. “…I then arose and told my feelings…and disclaimed all thought of doing as he said I had done in regard to favoring some to the prejudice of others &c. &c. And I wished him to state in what respect I had done this and what his reasons were for making the remarks he had.”

The group conversed back and forth at length retracing the interactions that caused the feelings. Some had questioned the authority of others. Some had felt slighted from others. Mistakes were acknowledged and apologies were given for unintended expressions or snubbing, and rational decisions were made.

One “had felt that he was treading on toes and therefore he had made the remark ‘that he was only a passenger on board the Ship.’ These things had grieved him because he thought there was a disposition to keep him back especially when he thought that he had made sacrifices as well as his brethren [and] that he had done all he could do. I arose and attempted to speak but could not as my feelings were so much wrought up that I could not express my feelings… I never, to my remembrance, in my life experienced such feelings, they were exquisite and I felt cut down to think that Bro. H. [Hammond] & I had mingled together and I had unbosomed myself to him time and again and yet all this time he had these feelings against me and had hinted to me and I had been so dull that I did not understand—these thoughts oppressed me and it was in vain that I tried to express them for a while…I prayed to the Lord to calm my feelings by His Spirit and I did experience a calm…the storm had passed and the gush of feeling had subsided and I felt that it would all come out right. I arose and spoke and was enabled to tell my feelings and I had the spirit—I reminded Bro. H. that…I merely told my feelings at that time without the least design to retard him in any particular…”

“We had a good deal of talk and laid our feelings open one to the other and settled it all satisfactorily to all parties…I thought this worthy of note that I might be reminded to ascertain at all times the feelings of the brethren and to cultivate at all times a spirit of candor that we might have no misunderstandings.”(https://www.churchhistorianspress.org/george-q-cannon/1850s/1852/09-1852)

Oct. 20, 2025 – Talk About

“Daddy, let’s talk about!” When our older children were very young, this is what they would say each night before we’d pray. “Okay,” I responded, wanting to forever encourage open family conversation. “What do you want to talk about?” With raised hands and eyebrows they would exclaim, “What we did today!”

At the end of this letter there is a link to my brand-new song or lullaby, called “Talk About.” I sincerely hope you enjoy it. In the meantime, what shall we talk about in this letter?

We could talk about the wonderful new First Presidency announcement last Tuesday and the blessings that have and will come to individuals, families, the Church and the world under their inspired direction. We could talk about the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) correlation meeting we attended, or the pleasant swim Joan and I took snorkeling in the gentle waves of Keawakapu Beach in Kihei on Wednesday. We could talk about the deeply sensitive ARP meetings we conducted on Thursday and Monday and the touching spirit we felt lifting the brokenhearted as they look to the Savior for help. We could talk about the inspiring stake fireside on Friday where Elder Takashi Wada, General Authority Seventy, spoke deeply about scripture study and the Book of Mormon. We could talk about our Saturday trip to Kapalua and our walk along the D.T. Fleming Beach as waves of sunshine and heavy rain took turns giving life to the ocean and island. We could talk about the pleasant Saturday evening ministering visit to our new ward friends, Tom and Pat Miyamoto learning about their family and their life-long faith. We performed several songs for them that night including ‘Talk About.’ We could talk about our non-member friend Nick who showed up at Sacrament meeting on Sunday and sat with us as we worshipped and listened to the Stake President speak boldly, genuinely and spiritually about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We could talk about teaching our beautiful youth Sunday School class, “Arise and shine forth that thy light may be a standard for the nations…” (D&C 115:5) (or the long line of kids after Sunday School for Joan’s cherry cheese cupcakes and brownies!)…

But here’s what I’d really like to talk about!

Life has worn me down a bit and Joan thoughtfully and thankfully reminds me that I don’t smile as much as I did when we first met. I am also too quiet at times. As a young missionary my theme scripture was, “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” (Proverbs 15:13) Back then, I reminded my fellow missionaries every day to ‘keep smiling.’ I love my family and the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ so very much. But I need to do better, amidst life’s difficulties, “[arising and shining forth (with a genuine smile) that Christ’s light] may be a standard for the nations…” The joy I feel is deep. But the spirit often prompts me that this joy needs to surface and be visible in my countenance.

Often while walking along these beautiful Maui beaches I am captivated with the sand, its swirling and tumbling motion in the waves, its composite shape along the shore, its individual grain size and colors, and it’s infinite quantity. I’m deeply impressed with the Earth, the heavens, and all of God’s creations, “innumerable as the stars; or, if ye were to count the sand upon the seashore ye could not number them.” (D&C 132:30). Of course in this and similar verses God is speaking of the Abrahamic promise “of his loins…which were to continue so long as they were in the world; and…out of the world…should continue as innumerable as the stars…” Sinking my feet in the sand I reflect on the infinite nature of this promise and yet how personal and intimate God’s relationship is with each of his children. “How many grains of sand are there in that circle,” I asked Joan while swirling my arm in a circular manner down toward the sand? (Joan knows when my engineering mind is probing the universe; her father Ferril Losee was the same way.) “I know the doctrines” I said to Joan, “so why is it so hard to have faith, Godlike faith, for the welfare of people we love?” She listened kindly, and then encouraged me to keep talking. All of a sudden, I just started talking and kept talking as we walked. Joan engaged as well. The spirit moved the conversation to hope, and then to faith, and then to charity and the relationship between these three principles. “I need to have more faith in Heavenly Fathers Plan, especially when I feel down or low for the welfare of someone we love, or the people we serve in the addiction recovery program. Then some familiar scriptures hit me.

“Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness,…that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness…” “…except men shall have charity they cannot inherit that place…in the mansions of thy Father…” (Ether 12:28, 34)

“…and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing…” (Moroni 7:44)

“And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoices in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things…

“Charity never faileth…Cleave unto charity…Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever…Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love…” (Moroni 7:45-48)

I’ve always thought my faith to be strong. But the spirit tells me that my hope and my charity, even Christlike love needs a lot of purifying (like the sand) and that I need to ‘talk about’ more intently, sincerely, and purposely with my Father for this love. I suppose that the very things that have ‘worn’ on me over the years are also the very things that can refine me and help me be filled with this love. I’m ready to keep trying.

Thanks for listening. Now, “What do you want to talk about?” Please feel free to reply. In the meantime, please enjoy my new song, “Talk About.”

Sep. 29, 2025 – Feeling mis-understood

This is personal! Perhaps it is more appropriate for a private journal. But, being vulnerable might help me overcome a weakness I’ve fought for years; a weakness that puts a strain on my most cherished relationships, and my discipleship.  Perhaps these thoughts will help others in this world of back-and-forth assertions with little respect and self-evaluation. The short coming is, “I’m too impatient and judgmental with others when I feel mis-understood or brushed-off.” I’ve tried a lot to stop doing it, but long-term persistence of this un-Christ-like behavior makes me believe that I can’t truly change without God’s help. This is especially true, “in a world filled with dizzying distractions.” President Russell M. Nelson proclaimed, “Now is the time for us to make our discipleship our highest priority.” (Nelson, The Lord Jesus Christ Will Come Again, General Conference, October 2024)

In our service missionary calling we commit to confidentiality as addicts share with us their challenges and progress ‘working the steps’ of recovery. They come seeking support. I cannot share their stories with you. However, since my non-chemical shortcoming is mine, I can share my story with you in hopes that sharing will help in my recovery. In Step 1 of “Healing through the Savior – 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program (ARP),” the addicts we work with “admit that we, of ourselves, are powerless to overcome our addictions and that our lives have become unmanageable.” ARP Steps one through three emphasize faith, humility and trust in God. The other steps dig into self-inventory, honesty, turning our shortcomings over to God, and restitution followed by service to others.

In conversation with our Honolulu Family Services manager, I discussed my desire to apply the 12 steps to my own shortcomings. He recommended another church publication called, “Finding Strength in the Lord – Emotional Resilience.” I acquired a copy then Joan and I started studying it together. While working through the early sections I thought, “Yes!” with a mental fist-pump. “This may be more applicable to what I’m struggling with.” We read about faith centered in Jesus Christ, activities that strengthen faith, and adapting to emotional challenges…” And then a grin of hope re-shaped my face and heart when I read this applicable statement by Elder David A. Bednar. “To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon…” (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offed Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 90)

My eyebrows raised when we got to the ‘Triggers’ section. “Yes,” I thought. “I need to understand the triggers of my emotional reactions.” As an engineer I know all about control systems and how specific system behavior is governed by what is within the system as well as the external environments, inputs and triggers to the system. This ‘triggered’ my attention (pun intended) and I went to work, breaking it down as instructed in the manual while continually “[looking] unto [God] in every thought,” (D&C 6:36) and remembering that “the worth of souls (my soul, and everyone else) is great in the sight of God.” (D&C 18:10).

From a list of common inaccurate thinking patterns I circled two that I thought might be at the root of my problem: 

  1. Jumping to Conclusions (e.g. assuming the worst intentions by the person), and 
  2. Discounting the positive (e.g. focusing on this moment, forgetting all the good things the person has done for me)

Then, in response to the question, “Why do we sometimes think these ways?” I wrote: To excuse, justify, beat-up, or protect myself, and blame others. These are emotional feelings and allowed me to further clarify my weakness as follows. When I am in conversation and express myself, if the other person responds or acts in an unexpected way I pridefully tend to feel ignored, un-appreciated, brushed-off, discounted, or mis-understood. I feel judgmental, offended, blaming and angry followed by a secondary reaction of self-criticism, thinking “I didn’t explain myself very well.” I then tend to snap-back and the relationship suffers.

The manual then presents this step. “After you identify your inaccurate thinking patterns, the next step is to try and change them to more accurate, truthful thoughts. You can invite the Savior’s influence by challenging your thoughts and asking whether they are true.” For example: Is this thought something the Savior would want me to think or feel? Is the person really ignoring me or discounting what I’m saying? Is the person really brushing me off? Is the person truthfully uncaring about what I said? Considering all I know about this person, does it make sense that they would deliberately respond unfavorably? What do I know about myself and them that tells me my thinking about them in this moment is not correct?

The Spirit directed me to a recent Come, Follow Me lesson. I remembered how the Lord chastened his people when they were not following his direction. He said, “whom I love I also chasten… [and] I prepare a way for their deliverance…” (D&C 95:1) I re-read this section of scripture and based on the Lords actions I compiled a list of personal actions to help me overcome my weakness. 

  1. Be patient and clear explaining what I say, giving a little more background and purpose, 
  2. Be patient in listening and reaction, responding slower and with clarity, assuming the person cares even when their response seems otherwise, 
  3. Be patient, listen more than speak. 

I note the glaring repetition of, “Be patient” in this counsel. Following instructions, I re-evaluated my “feeling mis-understood” emotional triggers in the table below where I contrasted thinking errors with more accurate and productive thoughts. My next step? Having more faith with action, remembering the worth of all, and patiently waiting on the Lord in all my communications. I’m humbly praying for success. Thanks for listening. 

Thinking ErrorMore Accurate Thoughts
“They don’t care to listen carefully”“They care but perhaps it’s a bad time”
“They don’t care about what I say”“I know they care but may be distracted”
“They ignore me”“They responded the best with what I said”
“I never take time to explain better”“I can take time to explain more clearly”
“I always blurt out what I want to say”“Perhaps I misunderstood – ask for clarity”

Sep. 22, 2025 – Medical and Spiritual Professionals

I am grateful for my life. I’m grateful for medical professionals who help me manage several conditions that need regular attention either by medication, eating differently, or exercising more. I’m humbled but blessed to live healthy enough to do most of the things I want to do with family, friends, and in service for God’s children. I’m grateful for spiritual professionals who help and guide me back to my Father in Heaven.

After a couple doctors’ appointments and before returning to Maui, I awoke early one morning and read on my phone Library, “Overcome the World and Find Rest,” by President Russell M. Nelson (Oct. 2022) There is much great instruction and invitation in this talk including, “My plea to you this morning is to find rest from the intensity, uncertainty, and anguish of this world by overcoming the world through your covenants with God… Spend more time in the temple, and seek to understand how the temple teaches you to rise above this fallen world.” I have learned to go to the temple with focus on a specific doctrine, principle, or invitation from prophets. It was still very early in the morning; but, swiping my phone to the Temple Reservation ‘app,’ I found space in the 5:30 AM Endowment session (not surprising) at the Mount Timpanogos Temple, got dressed, printed a family name card and drove under the starry sky to the bright steeple on the hill in American Fork. (see picture)

I got the feeling that many of these patrons were regulars at the early morning session. As I focused, I noticed many references related to ‘overcoming the world,’ like “rising above” or “becoming clean from.” Sure enough, just as President Nelson stated, ‘faithfulness to covenants’ was stated as key to such blessings. I prayed in the celestial room to know how to do it, how to be more fully faithful to my covenants with God to find rest and overcome the world and receive help. It was one of those mornings where I knew more than anything else around me that God lives, Jesus is the Christ, the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored, and revelation is given.

On the flight we studied the Church booklet, “Finding Strength in the Lord – Emotional Resilience,” Chapter 1, “Building Emotional Strength in the Lord.” This is such good material to help me and others make changes in character and behavior. Upon our return to Maui we exchanged several posts and pictures with family from Virginia to Alaska, from Utah to California. We are grateful for their love and support. Pictures of our children make us proud. Pictures of our grandchildren bring us joy. Pictures of fall leaves changing colors show us beauty in God’s creations. 

On Sunday morning Joan and I made the half hour coastal drive to the meetinghouse of the Lahaina 1stWard. We were lovingly greeted by a few people we had met before including the bishop. It was a deeply meaningful sacrament meeting where we just worshipped and enjoyed the spirit, the messages, and the people. Each speaker spoke of challenges, and blessings and of their testimony of the Savior. We then drove another mile to the older meetinghouse, the home of the Lahaina 2nd Ward, Tongan speaking. It was our assignment to speak in sacrament meeting, fortunately in English.

As we entered the building and chapel, there was a familiar reverence, a temple spirit in the room. Two members quietly greeted us with a kind nod at the doorway. The bishopric were in their places on the rostrum. Two primary children were standing on opposite sides of the pulpit with arms folded. And through the chapel sound system we heard recorded angelic tabernacle choir music. We were shown to our seats and provided with headphones so we could hear translations of others. It was another spiritually joyful meeting including the Tongan-strong congregational singing. Familiar with the melodies we sang along, in English. Half way through the sacrament hymn, the bishopric counselor sitting next to me handed us an open Tongan hymnbook and pointed to the lyrics. We quickly did our best to sing the words in Tongan. It was a joyful experience. In English we gave our talks on Jesus Christ as our Advocate with the Father, and sang our duet, “My Shepherd will Supply My Need.” We felt on sacred ground as we sang, played our violin and guitar and looked into the faces of our Tongan brothers and sisters. (see pictures)

That evening we tuned-in to a memorial service held that day back on the mainland and experienced some tender moments. While praying we reflected on two particular scriptures. “The Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings…to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty…to comfort…to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning…” (Isaiah 61:1-3) “Therefore…let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” (D&C 123:17)

Monday morning it was Joan this time who awoke early. “Let’s go see the sunrise.” I looked at the time, “Hmm, too late to make it to the top of Haleakala. How about we go north to Waihe’e. It’s the fall equinox (and Joan’s birthday) We should get a good sunrise over the ocean from there.” (See pictures) For her birthday I promised Joan a visit to the Cat Café Maui. She spent a very happy hour visiting a room full of cats, holding them, playing with them, petting them and crocheting with them. (See pictures)

That night we returned to our duties as Group Leaders for Healing through the Savior, Addiction Recovery Program. We had a large group of special people demonstrate their humility and faith by having the courage to come and seek the Saviors power and healing. As we read together, and listened to each other, I was once again reminded that when Jesus bore the pains and sufferings for the atonement, he somehow saw and did it for all of us. (Isaiah 53:10) And as he did so, he turned his will over to God (John 6:38) and “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.” (Hebrews 12:2) As he found joy when he focused on us, I find joy when I focus on him.

After the meeting, Sister Hardman revealed her birthday carrot cake, for all to share. Happy Birthday, Joan!

Aug. 18, 2025 – A still small voice, and a house sketch

When is your most likely time for personal revelation? When is the earth, wind, and fire quiet and the mind at peace enough to hear that “still small voice?” (Ref. 1 Kings 19:12) For me it is early in the morning after a good nights rest, just before I’m conscious enough to remember yesterday’s concerns or todays obligations, yet aware and calm enough to allow my thoughts to be guided by God’s whisper (D&C 85:6) and perfect mildness. (Helaman 5:30) In full disclosure, this doesn’t happen every morning, but I wish it did. This week it happened on Saturday morning and it was persistent. Over and over I imagined myself getting out of bed, opening my journal and drawing a simple two-dimensional sketch of a house in which I was writing the elements of a ‘House of Order.’ Okay, perhaps that wasn’t very revelatory as, like many of you, Joan and I had been studying Doctrine and Covenants Section 88 the day before in preparation for teaching on Sunday. The phrase, ‘House of Order,’ comes from a well-known scripture, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;” (D&C 88:118).

So, what was the revelation? It was that I needed to keep this lesson simple and clear and help our sixteen- and seventeen-year-old students apply part of its powerful message. The problem was, Section 88 is an “olive leaf” of peace to the Saints; it contains some of the most powerful and revelatory doctrine about God, his galactic creations, his work, his power, his light, even the light and power of Christ. As we studied this week we were filled with so much wonder that we didn’t know how to choose the portion that we should focus on for our class. “It’s all great; we want to teach it all.” It was overwhelming. Revelation provided the answer; focus on learning and preparing to learn by establishing a house (or personal life) of prayer, fasting, faith, learning, glory, order, and of God. So I finally got up and drew the imagined house in my journal, opened the scriptures and began to populate the house with some of the things God wanted all to teach and learn (D&C 88: 77-80), followed by the process of being most effective at teaching and learning (D&C 88:118-126). 

It wasn’t until standing in front of these wonderful youth on Sunday that I realized they were starting another year of school (some were even heading off to college), and during our discussion we could see and feel that they were grasping more fully God’s reasons for them to learn spiritual as well as secular knowledge so that they could be effective in His work (which may have something to do with the Lord including the “parable of the man sending his servants into the field and visiting them in turn” (D&C 88:51-61). You decide. And by the way, Sister Hardman’s cinnamon roll creations helped satisfy classroom taste buds while providing an object lesson or spiral symbol of Gods galactic creations.

There are definitely applications of D&C 88 to our work as group leaders in the Addiction Recovery Program. As Sister Hardman and I prepare with faith, prayer and learning to establish a setting or house of God, participants experience love and support. We learn right along with them and this week was no different as we moved from the “thorough repentance” steps into the sustaining steps 10 through 12. Step 10, is “Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.” The more I studied this step the more excited I grew that this is an emphasis I need each day to get over some of my compulsive behaviors such as being prideful, judgmental or impatient. Among other principles, this step includes being intentionally accountable to God, drawing close to him in morning and evening prayer, and throughout the day to protect us from drifting back into old habits. “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” (D&C 88:63)

I’m realizing that if I truly want to stop unfavorable habits I need to more continuously remember the Saviors Atonement, example and teachings throughout the day. I need to watch myself, anticipate the triggers, and be ready to apply Christ’s power to help me be better. This scripture in the Book of Mormon means so much more to me now. “If ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not.” (Mosiah 4:30)

This week we took several excursions to keep our physical and emotional house in order and to enjoy Gods creations; his children and nature. We took the coastal lava flow hike called the La Perouse Bay, a historical isolated bay on the south tip of Maui with coral beaches, black goats and powerful waves. On another day we ascended a small trail near the top of Haleakala. We visited the Wunders in Pukalani, a faithful couple upcountry who are continuously serving and very interested in our work. They loaned us a DVD called, “Road to Zion – Travels in Church History, The Hawaiian Episodes.” We love learning Hawaiian church history. So we camped out in our meetinghouse library for two evenings (the only place we could find a DVD player). And of course we regularly massage our bare feet walking along fine-sand beaches.

Week 19 – August 11 – Our first trip to the island of Lana’i

I was afraid I might get sea sick on the way to Sacrament Meeting! We rose very early on Sunday and though greeted by a beautiful calm east sky surrounding Haleakala, as we pulled onto the Maalaea dock we were greeted by boulders that had been thrown from the sea into the parking area. We navigated around them on the saturated road and soon learned why they were there. Suddenly an especially large wave broke the peaceful morning and burst over the concrete barrier sending water high into the sky. “We are experiencing a ‘south swell’” the ship crew later told us as we boarded the passenger ferry for Lana’i. The ship was tossed and heaving as we took our seats but became more steady as we departed for the open sea.

On board there were four fire-men passengers going to their three-day shift on Lana’i. One of them, recognizing us by our Sunday clothing and missionary badges befriended us and we engaged in delightful conversation about the Gospel and our work in Addiction Recover support for most of the one-hour trip. “D. Kamalani” it read on his uniform. He was very friendly asking about us and telling about himself and his family. In addition to fire-fighting, David is a sports trainer and author, originally from the islands but living mostly in St. George, Utah where he and his wife raised their family. Like everyone we talk to, David was grateful to hear of the work we are doing for those who suffer from addiction. We exchanged contact information and expressed hope to interact again. (see picture) I occasionally gazed out the window at the ocean and was impressed with how large the swells and valleys were made by ocean currents and overall water movement. The sea seemed alive. Fortunately, no sea sickness!

Getting off the boat at Lana’i we immediately recognized a gentleman in white shirt and tie, Brother Sproat, a member of the branch presidency greeted us warmly and then took us for a one-hour tour of the island in his well-used Toyota Tundra. He stopped the truck at a road-side monument (see picture) giving tribute to the Palawai Pioneers, Hawaiian latter-day saints who attempted a colony there in the 1850’s. He then took us to a view point of the north side including “shipwreck beach” where a large World War II concrete hull tanker ship was run aground and abandoned. In Lana’i City (the word City is a stretch), we arrived at the little chapel where we were greeted with enthusiasm by the missionaries, Sister Watanabe (from Texas) and Sister Salem (from the Philippian’s). We gave them the whiteboard and water bottle sent with us by other missionaries which they received with as much gratitude as though they were receiving their first copy of the Book of Mormon. With grateful surprise we were served breakfast then greeted by branch leaders and members before Sacrament Meeting.

Just before services started, we met Sister Sproat who we had been told could play the piano. We gave here the sheet music to the song we planned to sing, she stepped to the piano, and began to play it as prelude. Yep, she was the right one to accompany us. During the meeting we sang, “My Shepherd Will Supply My Need,” (Hymn 1014) and felt the Spirit especially during the last verse which we sang A Capella.

The sure provisions of my God attend me all my days.

O may Thy house be mine abode and all my work be praise!

There would I find a settled rest while others go and come—

No more a stranger nor a guest but like a child at Home.”

“When it was our turn to speak, we gave our prepared talks on Jesus Christ as our Advocate with the Father. Joan talk a little about us and introduced our topic. At the end of my message I felt so much love that it was natural to conclude with, “I know we are strangers, but I love you…”

We remained for the second hour where we were given time to show branch members how to find church online resources for addiction recovery. We also attended the weekly branch mission council and were impressed with how many branch members were engaged in the work; clearly the members and the missionaries are well-coordinated. Later we were served lunch which we enjoyed while getting to know the sister missionaries better. They shared all about themselves and their families and their enthusiasm for the work. Brother Sproat loaned us the Tundra. He said the keys were in it and it was available to anyone who needed it. So we took the opportunity to visit the famous cat sanctuary on the island. Sister Hardman was thrilled to hold, and be surrounded by hundreds of her fury friends, kittens, middle-aged, and senior cats. (Due to the therapeutic experience, we are considering recommending cats for Step 13 of the addiction recovery program.)

As our return ferry experience got closer I became nervous again, “What if I get sea-sick? The ocean is always rougher in the afternoon.” We sat in comfortable seats toward the center of the boat, I plugged some music in my ears, closed my eyes and was distracted for the journey back. Phew! No sea-sickness! At Maui, the ‘south swells’ were still big. The crew directed us carefully off the boat, one-by-one down the ramp. We waded through the still drenched parking lot to our car, tried to remove the thick salt spray from our windshield, then drove home. We agreed, “The entire experience was a magical missionary day.”

We concluded the week reflecting on the blessings and changes that come as we interact with people who bless our lives. Earlier in the week we enjoyed Sister Hardman’s cookies and the company of our missionary friends Elder and Sister Taylor admiring a beautiful sunset (see picture) and rise of the full moon over Haleakala. On Saturday, we took time at the sacred Pulehu chapel to play music and to read Elder George Q. Cannon’s journal. Very inspiring! While there, the Pukalani Relief Society arrived to have an activity. We helped them set up and were invited to stay for the event. It was joyful as they are very special people. Their final activity was to learn a hula dance under the giant Jacaranda Tree to the music of Moana, which Sister Hardman and I joined in. (see picture)

On Monday evening, with choice brothers and sisters attending Healing through the Savior, we studied Step 9 of the addiction recovery program. Step 9 is about restitution to persons harmed by our addictions. As we read of Alma and the Sons of Mosiah who went about, “zealously striving to repair…” (Mosiah 27:35) the damage they had caused, and later of Alma teaching his sons to “acknowledge [their] faults…” (Alma 39:12-13), we felt the mercy and power of the Saviors Atonement and “immediate redemption…” (Alma 34:31-32) that can come “as we prepare to meet God.” We have been very blessed this week.