From Darkness to the Tree of Life

From a dark and dreary place, they come to the tree, taste of the fruit, and feel joy and peace, the love of God

Like the “man…in a white robe” in Lehi’s dream, the Book of Mormon gently but persistently beckons me. Recently I followed those beckoning’s and found myself shadowing Lehi through his “dark and dreary wilderness.” He prayed for mercy. I imagined him in that, “large and spacious field,” finally tasting the “white and delightsome” fruit of the tree of life.  It gave such “exceeding and great joy.”1 I considered, “Why such extremes? Why was he beckoned to wade through the “dark and dreary” to later experience “exceeding and great joy.” “What could these opposites represent in my life, and for people I know and love?” I reasoned further, “What is the great joy Lehi felt as he partook of the fruit? Like Nephi, “I [desired] to behold…” in some measure, “the things which [Lehi] saw.”2

Keawakapu Beach before and after Kona storm (photo 1)

Last week in our Healing through the Savior, 12 Step, Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) group we explored Step 5 where the key principle is, Confession. I cannot divulge specific persons or comments, but the guidebook is written by recovering addicts who empathize with readers. In these ‘rooms of recovery,’ you feel the emotion and experience of our friends who walk through their own dark and dreary waste of addiction and at length pray and ask God to help [them] have the strength [they] need to confess. With trembling they tell of the “powerful experience,” saying something like, “At first, many of us just sat and listened, but eventually we felt safe enough to share… Still, we kept many things to ourselves—shameful things, embarrassing things, heartbreaking things, things that made us feel vulnerable.”

Using words similar to these from the guidebook our friends continue, “As we [shared], we felt Jesus Christ’s love for us, which gave us hope that it would be okay… Our sponsors could see the good in us and helped us see the good in ourselves… We unloaded our heavy burdens and placed them at the Savior’s feet. We felt peace, joy, and love. This experience was sacred and sweet.”3 From a dark and dreary place, their broken hearts broke the silence. They acknowledged feeling God’s love and hope, that God sees good in all of us helping us see good in ourselves. They felt peace, love, “exceeding and great joy.” This scene repeats in each ARP meeting. They come to the tree, taste the fruit, and feel joy and peace, the love of God.

How can I feel the great joy Lehi felt? How have recent Book of Mormon beckoning’s and precepts brought me nearer to taste the love of God?4 I considered a few recent experiences.

For physical and emotional preparation during our mission, Joan and I walk the fine corral sands of Keawakapu Beach. The water erases our footprints almost as soon as they are created. Thin layers of sand wash in and out with each wave. Recently, record breaking Kona storms poured out with fury all over Hawaii. The week-long cyclone drenched the islands with knee-deep rain and powerful ocean swells. Water flowed from up-country as parched stream beds filled. Thick mud came to rest in coastal flats closing roads. Life slowed way down as we sheltered in our apartment. Schools, businesses and churches closed. During the storm we looked through our second story window, down to the parking lot. It felt as if we were on a cruise ship sailing through flowing water. 

Keawakapu Beach before and after Kona storm (photo 2)

Finally, when blue sky pushed its way through an opening in the clouds, Keawakapu Beach beckoned. We stood in disbelief. Kona had dragged waist-deep sand back into the ocean to the coral reef from where it was born. Lava rocks not visible before, protruded well above the shore.5 We walked, weaving our way along the new beach as thin layers of kinetic grains washed in and out with each wave as before. We wondered, “How long will nature take to renew our beautiful Keawakapu?” With the dark storm now dispersed, somehow the warm sun and blue sky held new meaning. I realized, “Perhaps such storms are what had set Keawakapu on its trajectory to beauty in the first place.” Similarly we emerged from the storm, more understanding, more grateful, in sweet light.

I’ve been battling other kinds of storms, not of addiction or nature’s elements but the pain from wisdom teeth extraction, uncertainty from heart conditions, and uneasiness of not knowing just how some concerns in life will be resolved. With each of these I wondered, “How long will it take to heal?” But, Lehi’s dream and a priesthood blessing helped my faith, patience and confidence. By immersing myself in Nephi’s vision of his fathers dream “and the interpretation thereof…”6 I was reassured and reminded how the Atonement of Jesus Christ (the fruit of the tree) brings peace, and over time can gather, resolve and redeem all that needs to be redeemed. I’m learning to be patient and, “wait upon the Lord,”7 to “see the salvation of God.”8 The fruit of God’s loving plan of happiness and the Atonement of Jesus Christ is indeed white, exceedingly great, and joyful.

With my mouth healing, the Kona storm behind us, and God’s plan a little more clear, gratitude dispelled darkness through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I’m grateful for the Book of Mormon which beckons by the power of the Holy Ghost. I’m grateful for Lehi, Nephi, Enos, Alma, Joseph Smith and others who shared their trajectory through darkness to light. I know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, our savior, our light and our joy, who beckons us out of darkness with patience into the light.

  1. 1 Nephi 8:4-12, Lehi speaks to his family of his dream ↩︎
  2. 1 Nephi 11:3, “And I said: I desire to behold the things which my father saw.” ↩︎
  3. Healing through the Savior, 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program Guidebook, Step 5 ↩︎
  4. Book of Mormon – Introduction, Joseph Smith said, “I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.” ↩︎
  5. (See imbedded photos) ↩︎
  6. 1 Nephi 11:11, “And I said unto him: To know the interpretation thereof…” ↩︎
  7. Isaiah 40:31, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” ↩︎
  8. D&C 123:17, “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” ↩︎

Week 16 – July 21 – Some notes on God, love, mercy, and joy

Each week on Maui, we look forward to Mondays when we conduct Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meetings. Each gathering is an hour of compassion and learning as we are blessed to feel a touch of the Saviors love for each person, and for ourselves. At the conclusion of each meeting, the service missionaries are invited to bear testimony of how the Atonement of Jesus Christ has blessed or healed them personally. On Tuesdays we typically write our weekly letter. This week’s letter is a bit personal but will give the reader some idea of the prayer, study and thought we go through to prepare for bearing personal testimony of Healing through the Savior.

On some days we refresh ourselves by taking a walk in the white sand like along Keawakapu Beach in south Kihei, or through the Iao Stream below the historic Iao Needle. God’s creations, his children and this earth, features and motion, are beautiful. Mid-week, as ARP Group Leaders, we start studying the next step in the twelve steps. We personally benefit from these studies as the principles of faith, repentance, accountability, healing and spiritual awakening are needed by all whether struggling with addiction, compulsive behavior, pains or shortcomings. (We are thinking more and more that ARP as a masterclass in personally applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ.)

Prayerfully anxious to apply principles to my own weaknesses or burdens, and while hiking from the base to the top of our neighborhood Wailuku Heights, a general conference message prompted the thought, “I need to start at the base, the foundational commandments, and work my way up. Then I’ll find the answers to my questions and comfort regarding burdens.” At the time of the prompting I may have been listening to, “The Great Commandment—Love the Lord,” by President Ezra Taft Benson (General Conference, April 1988). President Benson said, “Why did God put the first commandment first? Because He knows that if we truly loved Him we would want to keep all of His other commandments…” Later I searched for scriptures and for talks on the ‘great commandments,’ and chose two.

That day on our way to the Hoapili trailhead and ancient lava flow (see pictures), we listened to, “The Love of God,” by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (General Conference, Oct. 2009), and “Bridging the Two Great Commandments,” by Elder Gary E. Stevenson (General Conference, April 2024). These were a great help. President Uchtdorf taught, “Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope…”

I find ‘divine hope’ each time I show love for Him by reading his word. I was anxious as I recently approached my next chapter, Alma 32, to read again about planting and nourishing the seed of faith as described by Alma. As anticipated it was a wonderful refresh on faith and truth and knowing what is good. What I didn’t expect was how much meaning I would find in the very next chapter, Alma 33. (I think God knows what we need and when we are ready for it and then when we pray, He prompts our reading schedule accordingly.) A few days later I read Alma 33 again. Being focused on my concerns, I had prayed for Heavenly Fathers help that, like others in need of healing, I too would progress more intentionally in my faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and receive healing more fully and joy more regularly. I carefully read, and He answered. I slowed down and re-read each verse. The following phrases stood out as if to me personally.

“Thou wast merciful when I prayed…” (verse 4-10) “Thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity, and it is because of thy Son…for in thee is my joy…” (v. 11) I wondered if the Lord was disappointed with my lack of faith when I read Alma quoting Zenos, “For behold, he said: Thou art angry, O lord, with this people, because they will not understand thy mercies which thou hast bestowed upon them because of thy Son.” (v. 16) I thought, am I not believing enough? And then, “Behold, he was spoken of by Moses; yea, and behold a type was raised up in the wilderness, that whosoever would look upon it might live…” Some looked, others didn’t. “Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them.” (v. 19-20) Do I really believe Christ can heal me?

As a good engineer, I diagramed in my journal what I was learning. And then I read the final verse, Alma 33:23, and discovered that the Lord provided a perfect summary already (brackets and emphasis added). “And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall [plant this word in your hearts], and as it [beginneth to swell] even so [nourish it by your faith]. And behold, [it will become a tree,] [springing up in you] unto [everlasting life]. And [then may God grant] unto you that [your burdens may be light], [through the joy of his Son]. And even [all this can ye do if ye will]. Amen.” (Alma 33:23)

I need to love God and my fellow brothers and sisters with all my heart, believe in His mercies through His Son, feel the swelling joy, nourish it by faith even amidst challenges, let it and feel it grow into many branches toward everlasting life, and then let the joy of his Son lighten my burdens and brighten my hope. I do love Him. And yes, the Atonement of Jesus Christ has and will continue to bless our lives.

As a footnote, with our prior trek and pioneer music background, we conducted a Hoedown in our Kahului home ward (see pictures). It was fun singing, telling stories and calling dances like the heel-toe Polka and Virginia Real. After the hoedown we took a red-eye flight to Utah where over the next few days we visited and played with grandkids, celebrated our daughters birthday, and prepare for the sealing of our oldest grandson. (More on the wedding next week.)