Tag Archives: Humility

Family, Temples, and Humility

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Dear family and friends,

Great news from family this week. Emma, Jaxon, and our grandson Freddie live in Virginia while Jaxon is in medical school. During our weekly family Zoom call, little Freddie was wearing a proud smile and a “big brother” tee-shirt. Emma and Jaxon confirmed with smiles (amidst that look of morning sickness) and pride that their next child is on the way. We are thrilled for them and with the wonderful growing family that we have. On the family text group expressions rang out from siblings like:

Eeeeee!!!!, No way!!! Yay!!!!!, Wahoo!!! Congratulations!!, Hooray! We are so excited for you guys!!!, Oh my gosh… I’m so excited for you!, This is such fun news, Em (except the sickness). Love you!! So excited for you, Yay!! Congratulations! I hope you start feeling better soon, Congratulations Emma we love you!!! Freddie will be the sweetest brother!

Joan and I added, “Congratulations Emma and Jaxon and Freddie! You guys are wonderful.”

This week in Utah has been full — caring for health needs, worshiping in the temple, and reconnecting with family while coordinating our Maui responsibilities from afar.

We are grateful for those who support us and substitute in meetings that we can’t attend in person. The addiction recovery program (ARP) sessions, emotional resilience classes and Sunday School lessons continue with capable facilitators and teachers.

Last Saturday, I took a walk on the Murdock Trail to the Lindon Utah Temple. While listening to the recent BYU Devotional talk by President Dallin H. Oaks, I passed by a couple going the other way that looked familiar. A moment later they turned around and caught up with me. It was Chris Bailey, an associate of mine for many years at BYU Capstone. We had a nice greeting and visit about Capstone, the Temple, family, etc. He is on the high council in the Lindon Utah Stake. In preparation for the new Lindon Utah Temple, he and his wife are called to create videos of stake members expressing feelings about their temple experiences. They gave me the YouTube information for their videos, we shared about our Maui service, exchanged contact information and went on with our walks. Later I watched several of the episodes and felt inspired. We so much look forward to serving, worshiping, and receiving comfort, peace and revelation in our Lindon Temple. (click here for the Lindon Utah Stake, “In the Covenant” episodes)

On Sunday, we tuned in by Zoom to our Ward in Kahului Maui to hear a really good friend of ours speak on his last day in the ward. He has been so inspiring in his service in many capacities. And his sacrament meeting talk was spiritual, scholarly, doctrinal, and inspirational. He is moving to another ward on Maui so we will continue to interact. Mid-day on Sunday we had lunch (homemade soup and sourdough bread) with our son Mike and his wife Becca and their lovely four children. They welcomed us fully. We visited, shared, did crafts, and had a family home evening message. I gave a message on, “How do we do as Jesus taught and love those who are not very loveable or nice.” We had a good discussion and then little Carter insisted that I play guitar so we sang a few Primary songs. I was surprised at how well I did reaching for the right chord progressions. Sunday evening we had dinner with Jana and Brent and family, then went to the Lehi Utah Stake Trek Kickoff Fireside. We are so looking forward to bringing our Maui ward youth to Utah in June to join with Lehi trekking in the mountains east of Heber.

On Monday, Joan and I enjoyed a road trip to St. George for a ‘play.’ On Tuesday we returned via Zion National Parkwhere it was absolutely beautiful for February. Upon our return and in between activities we studied, Come Follow Me, President Oaks recent talk, and scriptures. I found peace and joy studying some Genesis, Isaiah and Nephi chapters, and as prompted by President Oaks, I’m studying Humility (verses listed in the Topical Guide). Later in the week we attended a session at the Saratoga Springs Temple.

Amid travel, family gatherings, and service responsibilities this week, one scripture stayed with me. In Exodus, Pharaoh repeatedly hardens his heart after the Lord commands through Moses and Aaron to, “Let my people go.” In Exodus 10:1-3 we get this question from the Lord, “How long wilt thou refuse to humble thyself before me?” President Spencer W. Kimball referenced this verse and said, “The monarch (Pharaoh) was obdurate, deceptive, and stubborn. During the suffering of each plague he made the promise, but when relief came, he ignored his promise…” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Years That the Locust Hath Eaten, 1970) While studying this, the spirit whispered to my mind, “Ken, is there anything the Lord would like you to let go of. How long will I refuse to humble myself before the Lord?” I’ve been pondering this and hope I can be humble and let go of less important things or thoughts in favor of the more important things, including commandments and covenants. 

Thanks for reading. God bless you all.

Elder and Sister Hardman

Sep. 8, 2025 – Broken hearts and miracles

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Our hearts are broken when we hear of broken lives, and broken relationships. Addiction or other compulsive behaviors seems to break everything that is good. We are often asked to share some of our personal experience working in the addiction recovery program (ARP). Since participation is anonymous to encourage honesty and supportiveness, people introduce themselves by their first name only and we promise not to share what is shared at support meetings. But we can share our feelings, published materials and general experience. We invite you to listen with your heart as we try to express what has become deeply meaningful to us as service missionaries, and as children of God, brothers and sisters to all of God’s children.

Paraphrasing from program guidebooks, Healing through the Savior, 12-step Addiction Recovery Program of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is available to anyone who desires assistance in recovery from any addictive substance or compulsive behavior, or anyone desiring to seek change in their life. The meetings are held in a dedicated church meetinghouse and are structured, not an open forum to talk about problems. The program is based on the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-Step program, but has been adapted to the doctrines, principles, and beliefs of the Church. It is based on recovery through repentance and the power of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. The weekly meetings are conducted by senior missionaries throughout the world with the help of a facilitator who is a recovering addict. The first miracle we notice each week is within our own hearts. As each participant walks through the door we feel nothing but Christ-like love for them; all judgment and criticism is taken from our hearts. The next miracles happen as the meeting progresses and they feel love from one-another and from God. The first part of each meeting includes group reading about one of the twelve steps. The reading material has been prayerfully composed by persons who have experienced hope and progress in applying the respective principles of action and recovery. The last part of the meeting gives the participants the opportunity to share their experiences of challenge, faith and repentance, which often encourages others. Love, and the spirit of the Lord is very strong in these meetings as all learn about, apply, and have success using God’s grace.

At the end of the meeting, a senior missionary is invited to bear testimony of how the Atonement of Jesus Christ has blessed them personally. These are sacred moments where Sister Hardman or I have pondered the Lords personal and infinite Atonement, given us great hope, and the Spirit confirms truth to our souls which we then testify with all our hearts to the participants. Truly the healing power of Christ is enabled and the spirit of God is felt. All are invited to find a life of peace, freedom and even joy, encircled in the arms of God’s mercy. Jesus came with healing in His wings and is mighty to save. He lives to bless us with His love. In Addiction Recovery meetings all find hope, help and healing, even those whose hearts break for their loved-ones. In Healing through the Savior, we find Him.

Invitation – For those interested in more details, attached is my personal summary of the 12-steps along with a few relevant scriptures and expected actions. We are finding that these principles and step-by-step approach to repentance is applicable to all of us and all our repeating behaviors that we would like to resolve. I now think of it as a master-class in applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my own life. If you’d like to give it a try, think of a compulsive behavior that you have, a behavior that is controlling your life in unfavorable ways, then intentionally work through these steps to apply the principles and regain your agency and make more meaningful progress in Coming unto Christ and being perfected in him. For example, I would like to be less judgmental and more patient with myself and others. This divine process is working for me. As I sincerely and intentionally apply these steps to me, I am making progress. I have more hope for myself and for others. I am enjoying more joy in the Lord.

Healing through the Savior – The Addiction Recovery Program

12 Step Recovery Guide Summary of Key Principles, Action Steps, and Scriptures

2 Nephi 31:20, Mosiah 27:25, Alma 7:11-12, Ether 12:27, Moroni 10:32

Step – Title (Key Principle)Action StepsScripturesPersonal Notes
1 – Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. (Honesty)Let go of pride and seek humilityBe honest and talk to someoneAttend meetings2 Nephi 4:18-21Enos 1:4Alma 32:13-16 
2 – Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health. (Hope)Develop a correct understanding of God’s characterPray and study the scriptures.Phil 4:13Mosiah 7:33, 4:9Helaman 3:29 
3 – Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God, the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. (Trust in God)Decide to trust and obey GodReview and renew covenants with GodLuke 22:41-42Rev 3:202 Ne 10:24Mosiah 4:20 
4 – Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself. (Truth)Write an inventory with a sponsor’s helpProv. 3:5James 2:17-182 Nephi 4:19 
5 – Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs. (Confession)Share our inventories from step 4 with our sponsors and confess our sins to God and proper priesthood authorities as neededLet peace into our lives.Isaiah 1:18Mosiah 26:29Alma 22:18, 39:7, 39:13D&C 58:43 
6 – Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses. (Change of Heart)Be willing to change through the power of GodFind connection with others in recovery and at churchEz. 36:26Mosiah 3:19, 5:7Alma 22:15-18D&C 50:40-42 
7 – Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings. (Humility)Ask God to do what we cannot do for ourselvesStudy the sacrament prayersJohn 15:4-5, 10-11Mosiah 4:2-3, 5:7-9Moroni 4:3, 5:2 
8 – Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them. (Seeking Forgiveness)Write a list of people we might have offended or harmedForgivePray for charity.Matt 18:21-22, 32-33Luke 6:37-381 John 4:18-19Moroni 7:47 
9 – Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed. (Restitution and Reconciliation)Approach othersRecognize the blessings of recoveryMosiah 27:35Alma 34-31-32, 39:12-13D&C 1:32 
10 – Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it. (Daily Accountability)Spiritual preparation for each dayDaily repentance.Luke 9:23Mosiah 4:30Alma 5:14-15, 7:23Moroni 6:8 
11 – Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out. (Personal Revelation)Come unto Jesus Christ through prayer, fasting, and meditationMeditate in stillness and quietRomans 8:26Alma 7:233 Ne 20:1D&C 6:36, 42:61 
12 – Having had a spiritual awakening through the Atonement of Jesus Christ as a result of taking these steps, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do. (Service)Serve othersParticipate in temple and family history workLuke 22:32Romans 1:16Mosiah 2:17, 28:1-4Alma 5:14, 29:9-10Mormon 9:11, 16-19 

Hardman Rev: Sep. 9, 2025 (Reference. Healing through the Savior, The Addiction Recovery Program, 12-Step Recovery Guide, 2024 Intellectual Reserve, Inc.)

(For more information about Healing through the Savior including videos and podcasts of recovery meetings see addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org)