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Oct. 27, 2025 – Recovery support and a relationship case study

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As Group Leaders, Sister Hardman and I have conducted Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings on Maui Hawaii for about six months. We also conduct a weekly remote session by Zoom for participants on Maui, Moloka’i, and Lana’i, and anyone else across Hawaii that may want to attend. We participate in ongoing training and coordination with our counterparts in other parts of the country. We have learned much on how to conduct these meetings and how to provide love and support to those with compulsive or addictive behaviors. With the Savior in our hearts, compassion comes naturally.

We’ve met over two dozen people who have come to our meetings; some once or twice, some for a month or two, and some more continuously. Since these meetings are anonymous and confidential, we don’t take roll but we get to know them by their first names. As we read and discuss the 12 steps of recovery we sense a measure of their pain followed by the hope they feel as they seek Healing through the Savior. Their observations about Gospel principles are often profound. Their sharing about their experiences are heartbreaking, and we are anxious for their hope and success in recovery. Some find it difficult to find helpful and appropriate individual support. They plead for help.

Why are we sharing this with our friends and family? To encourage you to consider providing support to anyone you may know struggling with compulsive or addictive behaviors and is striving to recover. Presently we have several who attend faithfully. However, they often feel isolated and wonder where to turn for individual help. We read in the guide book that “Support from others is important to help us find recovery and healing. Having someone we can turn to in times of weakness often proves to be essential… It is easy to fall back into these behaviors without the support and perspective of others. Connecting with others not only provides the encouragement we may need but also helps us remember that we are worthy of love as children of God.” You can imagine that this last point is so poignant and powerful; to receive love from others when one doesn’t feel worthy of love! What a consequential way to minister!

In the guidebook, participants are encouraged to benefit from the following sources of support:

  • Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
  • Family Members
  • Friends
  • Ecclesiastical leaders
  • Sponsors
  • Recovery meetings, and
  • Mental health and medical professionals.

Again, we invite each reader of this letter to consider making yourself available to persons in need of support. Learn about the program and how to support others at https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org.

(From the list above, “Sponsors are people who have found recovery by working through the 12 steps. Because of their experience, they know how to help…” In the Church’s program, sponsors are not assigned. Asking for help is a personal decision of prayerfully considering trustworthy people who they feel comfortable with or would be most helpful.) https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/addiction-recovery-program-2023/17-appendix-support?lang=eng)

On Sunday, we attended our stake conference, enjoyed Zoom visits with our family, then we met by Zoom for the coordination meeting with our Hawaii Family Services ARP manager and other Group Leaders. They serve across the Hawaiian Islands and like us, come from across the country. We feel blessed to associate with these wonderful service missionaries who give of their time and hearts to provide compassion and support to those in need. May we encourage our readers, especially seniors to consider any kind of service mission.

Other activities – For physical exercise and fresh air, Sister Hardman and I regularly walk the beach. For emotional health we continue to visit parts of the island, meet people, and serve in our local ward as youth Sunday School teachers. For spiritual health we read scriptures and other inspiring works including General Conference talks, BYU Devotionals, and church publications. 

A great communications case study – We also enjoy reading local church history; specifically, “George Q. Cannon, Hawaiian Missions.” This week we read a journal entry that we recommend, dealing with hurt feelings and misunderstandings among friends, companions, or in this case fellow missionaries. We are certain all can relate to their experience.

Monday, 6 September, 1852. “…While eating breakfast Bro. Hawkins made some remarks about the field that he had been appointed to preside over and said he felt it to be a large one and he would like it if someone could take charge of Kula branch if they felt like it &c. &c. Bro. Hammond,” agreed and said, “that the way things had been going on was not calculated to do well, no one having a settled place, but first one preaching at one time at a place and then another following and preaching at that same place, & the first leaving things partly settled thinking that the one following would attend to it…” Elder Cannon asked how it could be avoided and referred to their previous council meeting where, “we had taken measures to prevent confusion of this kind… There were several remarks and replies made backward and forward and considerable feeling manifested…” Allusions, insinuations and assumptions of partiality heated the conversation. “…I then arose and told my feelings…and disclaimed all thought of doing as he said I had done in regard to favoring some to the prejudice of others &c. &c. And I wished him to state in what respect I had done this and what his reasons were for making the remarks he had.”

The group conversed back and forth at length retracing the interactions that caused the feelings. Some had questioned the authority of others. Some had felt slighted from others. Mistakes were acknowledged and apologies were given for unintended expressions or snubbing, and rational decisions were made.

One “had felt that he was treading on toes and therefore he had made the remark ‘that he was only a passenger on board the Ship.’ These things had grieved him because he thought there was a disposition to keep him back especially when he thought that he had made sacrifices as well as his brethren [and] that he had done all he could do. I arose and attempted to speak but could not as my feelings were so much wrought up that I could not express my feelings… I never, to my remembrance, in my life experienced such feelings, they were exquisite and I felt cut down to think that Bro. H. [Hammond] & I had mingled together and I had unbosomed myself to him time and again and yet all this time he had these feelings against me and had hinted to me and I had been so dull that I did not understand—these thoughts oppressed me and it was in vain that I tried to express them for a while…I prayed to the Lord to calm my feelings by His Spirit and I did experience a calm…the storm had passed and the gush of feeling had subsided and I felt that it would all come out right. I arose and spoke and was enabled to tell my feelings and I had the spirit—I reminded Bro. H. that…I merely told my feelings at that time without the least design to retard him in any particular…”

“We had a good deal of talk and laid our feelings open one to the other and settled it all satisfactorily to all parties…I thought this worthy of note that I might be reminded to ascertain at all times the feelings of the brethren and to cultivate at all times a spirit of candor that we might have no misunderstandings.”(https://www.churchhistorianspress.org/george-q-cannon/1850s/1852/09-1852)

Week 15 – July 14 – Jesus Christ walks these halls

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Stopped into Walmart this week; we don’t remember why. Perhaps it was to meet a fellow missionary from another faith, Aleka (see photo), A sweet lady who motioned us to sit with her so she could spread the word about God. We had a delightful conversation and wished her well in pointing people to Christ. We attended the multi-stake Pioneer Day chili cookoff and pioneer exhibits activity. We’re getting to know more members and guests including these delightful sister missionaries (see photo). On Sunday we spoke in the Wailuku Ward about Jesus Christ as our Advocate, and sang My Shepherd Will Supply My Need. It always feels wonderful to sing about the Savior while connecting worshipful eyes with others through music. On Monday with other volunteers we served at the Maui Food Bank (see photos) filling 900 boxes for distribution across three islands. Later that day we conducted our weekly Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meeting. It has been a fulfilling week with study and service. For the rest of this letter may I again make comparisons with ancient times, earlier latter-days missionaries, and our experiences today?

It is painful to learn of the difficulties and setbacks of God’s children. Nevertheless, when we have the courage to trust Him and repent and to keep doing his will amidst opposition, then darkness and pain is turned into light and joy. In the Book of Mormon, Enos said, “my guilt was swept away.” (Enos 1:6) Alma the younger exclaimed, “I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain…” (Alma 36:19-21)

In our service in Gods kingdom in the latter-days, there are also difficulties and spiritual setbacks. Yet, when we trust Him and go forward centered in Christ, joy emerges. In 1852 here on Maui, a year and a half into their missionary labors, Elder George Q. Cannon and his companions had experienced much trial, opposition, and setbacks; nevertheless, his trust in God was inspiring. Finally, after a year, his first hopeful contact Jonathan Napela accepted baptism and they began translating the Book of Mormon. Hundreds had already been baptized and following one of the first church conferences near ‘Iao Valley, Wailuku (walking distance from our apartment), an amazing miracle was performed causing Elder Cannon to compare his feelings with the prior year, and tried to express his gratitude and joy.

“A person that they had been called upon to baptize, had been crawling for five years not able to walk upright; she was believing and three of them went to pray with her that she might be restored—afterwards they commanded her in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to arise and walk—she immediately stood up and walked and they afterwards baptized her—those who saw her were astonished at it & several came into the Church at the same time. They seemed to be filled with the spirit while dilating upon it and upon the marvelous power of the Lord as manifested in the Church in these days. I was so full that language was too faint to attempt to describe my feelings, I could not talk; this was felt by Brother Uaua also. When I compared my present feelings with the feelings experienced by me this time last year in this place, and I looked at the progress of the work and the power of my Father that accompanied it; I felt that the goodness of the Lord was adorable and past describing. This day has been one of my feast days, a day that gives the soul food for reflection for some time and is not with its reminiscences easily erased from the memory.” (The Journals of George Q. Cannon, Hawaiian Mission, 1850-1854, pg. 172)

In our 2025 Addiction Recovery Program mission on Maui, we are meeting people who are or were in bondage to addiction. Like Elder Cannon, there are situations that seem bleak, painful and without hope. But just having them show up at their first recovery support meeting is an amazing miracle. As Sister Hardman and I strive to put our trust in God and keep our view centered in the Atonement of Jesus Christ we see our new friends in a much more loving and hopeful light. We are granted and motivated by the pre-joy that Jesus felt as expressed by the apostle Paul, “who for the joy that was set before [Christ] endured the cross…” (Hebrews 12:2) We have every confidence that our friends are loved. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life…” (John 3:16-17) We feel His love for our friends.

At the end of our ARP meeting this week I prayed in my heart to know what the Lord would have me say in my testimony. Step 5 is the topic of Confession. I bore testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, emphasizing trusting God with our confession and trusting our Savior with the ability to help and give us power to overcome. I noted that even in our youthful perhaps small mistakes we need to turn to the Savior less our small sins turn into patterns toward larger behavioral mistakes and then to addictions to try to cover our pain. I spoke of my parents who were probably embarrassed when I got into childhood mischief but noted their love and confidence in helping me. I testified that God is a loving Heavenly Father who doesn’t feel shame but gives us love and opportunities to learn and grow and repent. Like spiritually connecting through music in sacrament meeting, spiritually connecting through these words of love and testimony during the ARP meeting witnessed to us that Gods love was present. As we have heard addicts say about their recovery even while in prison, “Jesus Christ walks these halls.”

Week 13 – June 30, – Trust in God

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Each day this past week we took time to prepare for upcoming assignments, and to care for ourselves spiritually, physically, and emotionally. We exercise, write and sing about the beauties of life (song: Life Surrounds), walk on beaches or piers, wade through the Iao Stream, admire God’s hand in the infinitely varying sunsets above the ocean, and meandering turtles below. On one evening while reading on the beach, a large seal parted the waves, crawled up the beach and drew a large crowd. The look in his eyes was, “It’s been a long journey. I’m tired. Leave me alone.” On another occasion Joan found a sleeping turtle on a small beach with a rock on the center of his shell. It is illegal to touch a turtle, but Joan felt compassion, tiptoed through the sand, and removed the rock. Then received a wink from the turtle that seemed to say, “Thank you.”

We prepared and practice a sacred hymn in a sacred place. We prepared an overview and testimony of the addiction recovery program which we then presented three times on Sunday (5th Sunday combined adult meetings) rushing to three different meetinghouses, on three different parts of the island. Our presentation included a tender review of Alma 7:11-12, a scripture that President Dallin H. Oaks said, “is the single clearest of all the scriptures on this essential power of the Atonement…” (Oaks, Strengthened by the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Oct. 2015) During the presentation we set a spiritual tone by singing the duet we had prepared, “My Shepherd Will Supply My Need,” (new Hymn 1014) while accompanying ourselves with violin and guitar. These were special moments for us and judging by expressions and spirit, special for the members. We reviewed church online resources with them, bore testimony of the power of the Savior to assist us in our needs, and with love invited them to invite others who could benefit from the program.

During this week’s support meeting several new people came. We focused on Step-3, “Decide to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God, The Eternal Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ.” The basic principle is to Trust in God. The spirit was there, and we did our best conducting the meeting, discussing the principles, and bearing testimony at the end. However, as is too common for me (an addiction of pride), I doubted my effectiveness, wondering what I could’ve done differently or conveyed better for these beautiful, humble people. (I noticed that I was in need of the very principle we were teaching, that is: Trust in God).

As noted previously, Joan and I are reading, “The Journals of George Q. Cannon, Hawaiian Mission, 1850-1854). In 1851 Elder Cannon set out from Lahaina to live among the Hawaiian people in order to help him learn the language and convey the Gospel more effectively. Similarly, Joan and I occasionally set out to learn local history (we went to the Wailuku museum this week) and we read about Elder Cannon’s experiences with the people so that we might understand their culture and be more effective sharing the Savior’s message and healing power. On one occasion after struggling to preach in their language, in anxiousness Cannon wrote, “I felt very much depressed after this meeting, it seems a hard business to explain things. When will I be so that I can do justice to the principles of which I am the bearer?” On another occasion, speaking of his prayer to the Lord for help obtaining the language he said, “If I did not know that he would order everything for the best, I should be tempted to be discouraged.” (pg. 89) About the time of his first convert baptisms he wrote, “I have not felt the spirit of the Lord more… than I did this afternoon, and the people felt it… I had been enabled by his spirit to explain some things to the people few as they were that I had been sent to teach…” (pg. 95)

At our addiction support meeting the subject was Trust in God, and so having done our best to prepare and trust in him to execute the evening as he and his inspired resources prescribed, like Elder Cannon I should have had trust that “he would order everything for the best” that our best preparations and his process would work in the lives of those specific children of God who attended. Instead, I came home not feeling rest, but burden, the burden of self-doubt and self-criticism, whereas I should’ve taken his yoke upon me, not just words, but with full trust so that I might feel of his rest (Matthew 11:28-30) and not be burdened by the pride that was driving my unrest, the pride of wondering what I could’ve done differently or how I could’ve executed it differently (I notice the word “I” too much in the last sentence; pride). Sister Hardman and I made our best efforts. We studied, we prayed, we prepared. And in the session, we loved, we read, we discussed, and we carried out the class. And judging by the faces present many were touched and many felt sincere and good feelings. We have confidence that many are feeling more power in Christ. We take to the Lord our best offering, and He makes something beautiful.