Tag Archives: emotional resilience

Glenn and Dorothy Hardman – Back to Cedar Fort

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(Cedar Fort Home a number of years later)

At age nineteen, Sidney Glenn Hardman left Cedar Fort, the remote Utah town of his youth. He found work, and his eternal companion, Dorothy Mae Griffin. Forty years later after many good years of marriage, six children, eighteen grandchildren, several startup companies and numerous trials and blessings, Glenn and Dorothy had moved back. Dorothy wrote, “Why were we directed to live in Cedar Fort? What is the Lord’s purpose for us here?” Years before during the many visits they had made while raising their children Dorothy recalled saying, “I would never live in Cedar Fort.” They were concerned by the influence on their children of “an element of [church] inactivity” and lower standards. 

Later, with the children now on their own, Glenn’s most recent company closed its doors. They felt the burden of a lingering mortgage, as well as the load of caring for both of their aging widowed fathers and felt “grateful that each one of ‘them’ had their home paid for.” Without an income they were scared, but “felt at ease, almost in a patience mode, and we talked and pondered…wondering about the calmness we felt.” One day Dorothy asked herself what she really wanted. “All of a sudden, the light went on, and I [knew that my desire was to] have a home that was paid for as we entered our ‘later years’.” Further pondering brought Cedar Fort to mind as an option. “No, it didn’t even shock me, and I thought, why not?”

Glenn was surprised but didn’t hesitate. “It seemed so right.” Being people of action, the wheels turned quickly. They found a lot with a foundation and partial house and purchased it, sold their home in Orem, moved into a trailer on the lot on Labor Day, began construction, “and the future was coming into view.” They were in by Christmas.

“We had determined,” Dorothy recorded, “that we would not come to Cedar Fort to try to tell the good people here what to do. Rather, we would quietly wait and serve when called, and we would make friends and help wherever needed… Glenn had come ‘home’ and his old friends and family welcomed us. We…decided to look for the good, to be positive…”

In addition to church callings and community service, Dorothy continue to care for her aging father which required the cost of regular trips to Ogden, money that they didn’t have. “I wondered how we managed to come up with that much…” She learned from her diseased mother to pray “for the little things.” Dorothy learned to love and appreciate her difficult aging father through the care she provided. Glenn also received callings and served in the community including as Mayor, while once again re-building a little company in a barn. This provided jobs for family and friends. When called by the bishop to be the Young Men’s President, he said, “At my age? I don’t have the patience any more…” After Dorothy was prompted to review his patriarchal blessing, Glenn went to work as as he had many times before directed by the Lord. His blessing read, “Take an interest in the leadership of young people…through your fine spirit and enthusiasm, you will be a great power in bringing them to live lives of righteousness…” And so, God’s purpose in prompting them back to Cedar Fort became more clear, to have a home that was paid for, and to serve and improve the lives they were concerned about many years before.

(#AncestorClips – Written by Kenneth R. Hardman. Reference: Sidney Glenn Hardman & Dorothy Mae Griffin, Their Story and Their Life, Volume IV, 1985-2007, edited by Kenneth R. Hardman 2024, pg. 46-50)

Oct. 6, 2025 – Light shining in darkness

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Caption?

A young Eucalyptus tree growing on a volcano

Light penetrating the clouds as we walk through them

Lunch with missionaries who just arrived on the island

Sunsets and moon-risings

Sand refined and smooth

I could talk about the challenging moments this week, in all their varieties – physical, emotional, and spiritual – but I feel to focus on the light that shone through to illuminate each of those learning moments. As Elder Peter M. Johnson read in General Conference on Sunday, “Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God…I am the light which shineth in darkness…” (D&C 6:21) The light of General Conference including the music was a personal blessing. Sister Tracy Browning taught, “Sacred music can shine the Light of Christ on the hearer and can pour it into the heart of the singer.” (Sister Tracy Y. Browning, 2nd Counselor in the Primary General Presidency)

We began our General Conference having prayed all week for those preparing and participating in the conference. After the Saturday morning session we had breakfast at a members home with the full-time missionaries and other guests. A non-member friend of the family was there and we all had wonderful conversation about Jesus Christ and the Church. He was very anxious to bring ‘religious structure’ back into his life. We all encouraged with love.  

Later that day, we felt prompted to visit our neighbors. As we entered their home to pleasant smiles, Jana’i looked up from the tea-leaf weaving project she was preparing for local school children. I said, “Can we tell you why today is such a blessing?” Curtis and Jana’i nodded yes. “It is General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” They again nodded with some recognition of what this is. We continued, “It is so wonderful to hear so much encouragement and joy and messages about Jesus Christ.” Jana’i replied, “I feel and appreciate your enthusiasm.” From prior conversation we knew that their son had been baptized years ago when some of his friends left on missions. They talked about other friends they’ve had who are members of the Church and have had a positive influence on them. To our invitation to join us to watch General Conference they politely said, “Maybe next time,” so we gave them the link and encouraged them to participate. After more mutually enjoyable conversation we departed till our next visit.

We’d like to now share a couple examples of light shining through some challenging moments this week.

Emotional – At our Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meetings we often feel some of the weight that we imagine addicts carry as they seek healing and sobriety in a world filled with ongoing trials and temptations. There are times when I personally feel overwhelmed for them and my heart aches. True, we don’t know exactly what they are going through. But we do our best to love and read scriptures with them and encourage the light of Christ to shine through the darkness. ARP Step 5 involves the principle of confession and more than one person expressed how hard it is to confess to ecclesiastical leaders who haven’t experienced what they are going through. When I bore my testimony this week, I feel like I fell short of expressing Christlike love. But after the meeting the Spirit helped me see light that was indeed shining through the darkness, even though not obvious to me at the time.

Spiritual – One form of spiritual darkness is when doubt or fear accompanies the loss of hope in one or more eternal blessings. But here again, the potential light is in the process of applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ, learning the truth thereby overcoming or allowing Christ to disperse the darkness. I won’t go into personal specifics here, but I am learning more and more what He meant, “If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31-32) Revelation through the Holy Ghost while studying the Word – frees us from many things including darkness that can come from false or incomplete understandings.

As an engineer, my ears perked up this weekend when President Eyring said, “Long ago I sought to learn physics and mathematics in my college years. I felt overwhelmed…” He went on to express how challenging and discouraging it was. He prayed and received, “I am proving you, but I am also with you.” He then shared, “I learned that my struggle with physics was actually a gift from the Lord. He was teaching me that with His help, I could do things that seemed impossible if I had the faith…” (Henry B. Eyring, Oct. 2025)

As we review our week, mission, and life, we see that most days have been filled with light. A young Eucalyptus tree growing on a volcano, light penetrating the clouds as we walk through them, lunch with missionaries who just arrived on the island, sunsets and moon-risings. The blessings of the Gospel, the Earth, and family are wonderful. The more we study the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the brighter we see our past, present and future. We are very grateful for our Father in Heaven, His Son Jesus Christ, and the comfort and revelation from the Holy Ghost. Like life, while walking on the beach, our bare feet leave depressions in the infinite and perfect grains of soft coral sand. When we turn back we see the waves rush in and flow back out, our footprint gone, the sand even more refined and smooth. As we walk intentionally through life with Him, baring our souls amidst his righteous waves, He refines us even in the process and presence of his beautiful creations. We are grateful for these moments, and the light of the Earth and all our Father in Heaven has prepared for his children.

Aloha, and Mahalo.

Sep. 29, 2025 – Feeling mis-understood

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This is personal! Perhaps it is more appropriate for a private journal. But, being vulnerable might help me overcome a weakness I’ve fought for years; a weakness that puts a strain on my most cherished relationships, and my discipleship.  Perhaps these thoughts will help others in this world of back-and-forth assertions with little respect and self-evaluation. The short coming is, “I’m too impatient and judgmental with others when I feel mis-understood or brushed-off.” I’ve tried a lot to stop doing it, but long-term persistence of this un-Christ-like behavior makes me believe that I can’t truly change without God’s help. This is especially true, “in a world filled with dizzying distractions.” President Russell M. Nelson proclaimed, “Now is the time for us to make our discipleship our highest priority.” (Nelson, The Lord Jesus Christ Will Come Again, General Conference, October 2024)

In our service missionary calling we commit to confidentiality as addicts share with us their challenges and progress ‘working the steps’ of recovery. They come seeking support. I cannot share their stories with you. However, since my non-chemical shortcoming is mine, I can share my story with you in hopes that sharing will help in my recovery. In Step 1 of “Healing through the Savior – 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program (ARP),” the addicts we work with “admit that we, of ourselves, are powerless to overcome our addictions and that our lives have become unmanageable.” ARP Steps one through three emphasize faith, humility and trust in God. The other steps dig into self-inventory, honesty, turning our shortcomings over to God, and restitution followed by service to others.

In conversation with our Honolulu Family Services manager, I discussed my desire to apply the 12 steps to my own shortcomings. He recommended another church publication called, “Finding Strength in the Lord – Emotional Resilience.” I acquired a copy then Joan and I started studying it together. While working through the early sections I thought, “Yes!” with a mental fist-pump. “This may be more applicable to what I’m struggling with.” We read about faith centered in Jesus Christ, activities that strengthen faith, and adapting to emotional challenges…” And then a grin of hope re-shaped my face and heart when I read this applicable statement by Elder David A. Bednar. “To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon…” (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offed Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 90)

My eyebrows raised when we got to the ‘Triggers’ section. “Yes,” I thought. “I need to understand the triggers of my emotional reactions.” As an engineer I know all about control systems and how specific system behavior is governed by what is within the system as well as the external environments, inputs and triggers to the system. This ‘triggered’ my attention (pun intended) and I went to work, breaking it down as instructed in the manual while continually “[looking] unto [God] in every thought,” (D&C 6:36) and remembering that “the worth of souls (my soul, and everyone else) is great in the sight of God.” (D&C 18:10).

From a list of common inaccurate thinking patterns I circled two that I thought might be at the root of my problem: 

  1. Jumping to Conclusions (e.g. assuming the worst intentions by the person), and 
  2. Discounting the positive (e.g. focusing on this moment, forgetting all the good things the person has done for me)

Then, in response to the question, “Why do we sometimes think these ways?” I wrote: To excuse, justify, beat-up, or protect myself, and blame others. These are emotional feelings and allowed me to further clarify my weakness as follows. When I am in conversation and express myself, if the other person responds or acts in an unexpected way I pridefully tend to feel ignored, un-appreciated, brushed-off, discounted, or mis-understood. I feel judgmental, offended, blaming and angry followed by a secondary reaction of self-criticism, thinking “I didn’t explain myself very well.” I then tend to snap-back and the relationship suffers.

The manual then presents this step. “After you identify your inaccurate thinking patterns, the next step is to try and change them to more accurate, truthful thoughts. You can invite the Savior’s influence by challenging your thoughts and asking whether they are true.” For example: Is this thought something the Savior would want me to think or feel? Is the person really ignoring me or discounting what I’m saying? Is the person really brushing me off? Is the person truthfully uncaring about what I said? Considering all I know about this person, does it make sense that they would deliberately respond unfavorably? What do I know about myself and them that tells me my thinking about them in this moment is not correct?

The Spirit directed me to a recent Come, Follow Me lesson. I remembered how the Lord chastened his people when they were not following his direction. He said, “whom I love I also chasten… [and] I prepare a way for their deliverance…” (D&C 95:1) I re-read this section of scripture and based on the Lords actions I compiled a list of personal actions to help me overcome my weakness. 

  1. Be patient and clear explaining what I say, giving a little more background and purpose, 
  2. Be patient in listening and reaction, responding slower and with clarity, assuming the person cares even when their response seems otherwise, 
  3. Be patient, listen more than speak. 

I note the glaring repetition of, “Be patient” in this counsel. Following instructions, I re-evaluated my “feeling mis-understood” emotional triggers in the table below where I contrasted thinking errors with more accurate and productive thoughts. My next step? Having more faith with action, remembering the worth of all, and patiently waiting on the Lord in all my communications. I’m humbly praying for success. Thanks for listening. 

Thinking ErrorMore Accurate Thoughts
“They don’t care to listen carefully”“They care but perhaps it’s a bad time”
“They don’t care about what I say”“I know they care but may be distracted”
“They ignore me”“They responded the best with what I said”
“I never take time to explain better”“I can take time to explain more clearly”
“I always blurt out what I want to say”“Perhaps I misunderstood – ask for clarity”

Sep. 22, 2025 – Medical and Spiritual Professionals

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I am grateful for my life. I’m grateful for medical professionals who help me manage several conditions that need regular attention either by medication, eating differently, or exercising more. I’m humbled but blessed to live healthy enough to do most of the things I want to do with family, friends, and in service for God’s children. I’m grateful for spiritual professionals who help and guide me back to my Father in Heaven.

After a couple doctors’ appointments and before returning to Maui, I awoke early one morning and read on my phone Library, “Overcome the World and Find Rest,” by President Russell M. Nelson (Oct. 2022) There is much great instruction and invitation in this talk including, “My plea to you this morning is to find rest from the intensity, uncertainty, and anguish of this world by overcoming the world through your covenants with God… Spend more time in the temple, and seek to understand how the temple teaches you to rise above this fallen world.” I have learned to go to the temple with focus on a specific doctrine, principle, or invitation from prophets. It was still very early in the morning; but, swiping my phone to the Temple Reservation ‘app,’ I found space in the 5:30 AM Endowment session (not surprising) at the Mount Timpanogos Temple, got dressed, printed a family name card and drove under the starry sky to the bright steeple on the hill in American Fork. (see picture)

I got the feeling that many of these patrons were regulars at the early morning session. As I focused, I noticed many references related to ‘overcoming the world,’ like “rising above” or “becoming clean from.” Sure enough, just as President Nelson stated, ‘faithfulness to covenants’ was stated as key to such blessings. I prayed in the celestial room to know how to do it, how to be more fully faithful to my covenants with God to find rest and overcome the world and receive help. It was one of those mornings where I knew more than anything else around me that God lives, Jesus is the Christ, the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored, and revelation is given.

On the flight we studied the Church booklet, “Finding Strength in the Lord – Emotional Resilience,” Chapter 1, “Building Emotional Strength in the Lord.” This is such good material to help me and others make changes in character and behavior. Upon our return to Maui we exchanged several posts and pictures with family from Virginia to Alaska, from Utah to California. We are grateful for their love and support. Pictures of our children make us proud. Pictures of our grandchildren bring us joy. Pictures of fall leaves changing colors show us beauty in God’s creations. 

On Sunday morning Joan and I made the half hour coastal drive to the meetinghouse of the Lahaina 1stWard. We were lovingly greeted by a few people we had met before including the bishop. It was a deeply meaningful sacrament meeting where we just worshipped and enjoyed the spirit, the messages, and the people. Each speaker spoke of challenges, and blessings and of their testimony of the Savior. We then drove another mile to the older meetinghouse, the home of the Lahaina 2nd Ward, Tongan speaking. It was our assignment to speak in sacrament meeting, fortunately in English.

As we entered the building and chapel, there was a familiar reverence, a temple spirit in the room. Two members quietly greeted us with a kind nod at the doorway. The bishopric were in their places on the rostrum. Two primary children were standing on opposite sides of the pulpit with arms folded. And through the chapel sound system we heard recorded angelic tabernacle choir music. We were shown to our seats and provided with headphones so we could hear translations of others. It was another spiritually joyful meeting including the Tongan-strong congregational singing. Familiar with the melodies we sang along, in English. Half way through the sacrament hymn, the bishopric counselor sitting next to me handed us an open Tongan hymnbook and pointed to the lyrics. We quickly did our best to sing the words in Tongan. It was a joyful experience. In English we gave our talks on Jesus Christ as our Advocate with the Father, and sang our duet, “My Shepherd will Supply My Need.” We felt on sacred ground as we sang, played our violin and guitar and looked into the faces of our Tongan brothers and sisters. (see pictures)

That evening we tuned-in to a memorial service held that day back on the mainland and experienced some tender moments. While praying we reflected on two particular scriptures. “The Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings…to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty…to comfort…to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning…” (Isaiah 61:1-3) “Therefore…let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” (D&C 123:17)

Monday morning it was Joan this time who awoke early. “Let’s go see the sunrise.” I looked at the time, “Hmm, too late to make it to the top of Haleakala. How about we go north to Waihe’e. It’s the fall equinox (and Joan’s birthday) We should get a good sunrise over the ocean from there.” (See pictures) For her birthday I promised Joan a visit to the Cat Café Maui. She spent a very happy hour visiting a room full of cats, holding them, playing with them, petting them and crocheting with them. (See pictures)

That night we returned to our duties as Group Leaders for Healing through the Savior, Addiction Recovery Program. We had a large group of special people demonstrate their humility and faith by having the courage to come and seek the Saviors power and healing. As we read together, and listened to each other, I was once again reminded that when Jesus bore the pains and sufferings for the atonement, he somehow saw and did it for all of us. (Isaiah 53:10) And as he did so, he turned his will over to God (John 6:38) and “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.” (Hebrews 12:2) As he found joy when he focused on us, I find joy when I focus on him.

After the meeting, Sister Hardman revealed her birthday carrot cake, for all to share. Happy Birthday, Joan!