From Darkness to the Tree of Life

From a dark and dreary place, they come to the tree, taste of the fruit, and feel joy and peace, the love of God

Like the “man…in a white robe” in Lehi’s dream, the Book of Mormon gently but persistently beckons me. Recently I followed those beckoning’s and found myself shadowing Lehi through his “dark and dreary wilderness.” He prayed for mercy. I imagined him in that, “large and spacious field,” finally tasting the “white and delightsome” fruit of the tree of life.  It gave such “exceeding and great joy.”1 I considered, “Why such extremes? Why was he beckoned to wade through the “dark and dreary” to later experience “exceeding and great joy.” “What could these opposites represent in my life, and for people I know and love?” I reasoned further, “What is the great joy Lehi felt as he partook of the fruit? Like Nephi, “I [desired] to behold…” in some measure, “the things which [Lehi] saw.”2

Keawakapu Beach before and after Kona storm (photo 1)

Last week in our Healing through the Savior, 12 Step, Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) group we explored Step 5 where the key principle is, Confession. I cannot divulge specific persons or comments, but the guidebook is written by recovering addicts who empathize with readers. In these ‘rooms of recovery,’ you feel the emotion and experience of our friends who walk through their own dark and dreary waste of addiction and at length pray and ask God to help [them] have the strength [they] need to confess. With trembling they tell of the “powerful experience,” saying something like, “At first, many of us just sat and listened, but eventually we felt safe enough to share… Still, we kept many things to ourselves—shameful things, embarrassing things, heartbreaking things, things that made us feel vulnerable.”

Using words similar to these from the guidebook our friends continue, “As we [shared], we felt Jesus Christ’s love for us, which gave us hope that it would be okay… Our sponsors could see the good in us and helped us see the good in ourselves… We unloaded our heavy burdens and placed them at the Savior’s feet. We felt peace, joy, and love. This experience was sacred and sweet.”3 From a dark and dreary place, their broken hearts broke the silence. They acknowledged feeling God’s love and hope, that God sees good in all of us helping us see good in ourselves. They felt peace, love, “exceeding and great joy.” This scene repeats in each ARP meeting. They come to the tree, taste the fruit, and feel joy and peace, the love of God.

How can I feel the great joy Lehi felt? How have recent Book of Mormon beckoning’s and precepts brought me nearer to taste the love of God?4 I considered a few recent experiences.

For physical and emotional preparation during our mission, Joan and I walk the fine corral sands of Keawakapu Beach. The water erases our footprints almost as soon as they are created. Thin layers of sand wash in and out with each wave. Recently, record breaking Kona storms poured out with fury all over Hawaii. The week-long cyclone drenched the islands with knee-deep rain and powerful ocean swells. Water flowed from up-country as parched stream beds filled. Thick mud came to rest in coastal flats closing roads. Life slowed way down as we sheltered in our apartment. Schools, businesses and churches closed. During the storm we looked through our second story window, down to the parking lot. It felt as if we were on a cruise ship sailing through flowing water. 

Keawakapu Beach before and after Kona storm (photo 2)

Finally, when blue sky pushed its way through an opening in the clouds, Keawakapu Beach beckoned. We stood in disbelief. Kona had dragged waist-deep sand back into the ocean to the coral reef from where it was born. Lava rocks not visible before, protruded well above the shore.5 We walked, weaving our way along the new beach as thin layers of kinetic grains washed in and out with each wave as before. We wondered, “How long will nature take to renew our beautiful Keawakapu?” With the dark storm now dispersed, somehow the warm sun and blue sky held new meaning. I realized, “Perhaps such storms are what had set Keawakapu on its trajectory to beauty in the first place.” Similarly we emerged from the storm, more understanding, more grateful, in sweet light.

I’ve been battling other kinds of storms, not of addiction or nature’s elements but the pain from wisdom teeth extraction, uncertainty from heart conditions, and uneasiness of not knowing just how some concerns in life will be resolved. With each of these I wondered, “How long will it take to heal?” But, Lehi’s dream and a priesthood blessing helped my faith, patience and confidence. By immersing myself in Nephi’s vision of his fathers dream “and the interpretation thereof…”6 I was reassured and reminded how the Atonement of Jesus Christ (the fruit of the tree) brings peace, and over time can gather, resolve and redeem all that needs to be redeemed. I’m learning to be patient and, “wait upon the Lord,”7 to “see the salvation of God.”8 The fruit of God’s loving plan of happiness and the Atonement of Jesus Christ is indeed white, exceedingly great, and joyful.

With my mouth healing, the Kona storm behind us, and God’s plan a little more clear, gratitude dispelled darkness through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I’m grateful for the Book of Mormon which beckons by the power of the Holy Ghost. I’m grateful for Lehi, Nephi, Enos, Alma, Joseph Smith and others who shared their trajectory through darkness to light. I know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, our savior, our light and our joy, who beckons us out of darkness with patience into the light.

  1. 1 Nephi 8:4-12, Lehi speaks to his family of his dream ↩︎
  2. 1 Nephi 11:3, “And I said: I desire to behold the things which my father saw.” ↩︎
  3. Healing through the Savior, 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program Guidebook, Step 5 ↩︎
  4. Book of Mormon – Introduction, Joseph Smith said, “I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.” ↩︎
  5. (See imbedded photos) ↩︎
  6. 1 Nephi 11:11, “And I said unto him: To know the interpretation thereof…” ↩︎
  7. Isaiah 40:31, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” ↩︎
  8. D&C 123:17, “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” ↩︎

Seeing with New Ears

A glimpse of the eventual joy of God’s beautifully orchestrated steps

Last week we spoke about knowing Christ more deeply by walking with him, by striving to serve others as he would. We also likened him to wearing hearing aids, hearing and observing again and anew as we purposely enable sounds we have lost or not yet experienced. Please consider this analogy further. 

Wailea Point

It was a pleasant Aloha Saturday morning as Joan and I drove from Wailuku to Wailea. We parked and approached the ocean boardwalk just south of the Grand Wailea resort. The ocean bay was relatively calm and we observed many visitors enjoying the beach, snorkeling, playing in and even walking on water via stand-up paddle boards. This is a familiar scene. However, on this occasion as we approached the sea my legs and feet automatically stopped and I gazed over the prominent white-ginger bushes with their scented white five-peddle flowers. My mind took a moment to correlate what I heard with the perspective that I saw.

With new interest I watched a typical wave brake from the left, and from the right. As the left and right breakers converged in the center in front of me, I saw new interactions and admired the collision with my ears. I could hear millions of droplets I hadn’t heard before breaking on the water in front of the wave. I could hear more clearly the children’s voices and the birds and the breeze and the leaves. After a moment we walked on.

Along Wailea Point I again couldn’t help but stop and stare at the rocks below. The gurgling, spraying, crashing, sound of millions of water droplets hitting the rocks as waves lightly struck. Even the sound of water retreating and dripping and babbling from the rocks back into the ocean gently sustained my attention. I was seeing anew with my ears. It was delightful.

Later we continued our preparations for the next day, Sunday, where in addition to attending our ward and Sacrament meeting, we would also make presentations to Ward Councils in two other wards on Maui. Our assignment was to report Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) progress, provide some basic training to council members, and invite them to invite others in their stewardship that could benefit from the program. A thought occurred that we should invite one or both of our ARP facilitators to attend with us and bear their testimony. We felt this in the spirit of love, love for God, love for our fellow servants, and love for those we serve. We sent the text message invitation and then moved confidently toward the sabbath and our first, early morning ward council. I wish I could share the miracles that occurred that morning, and the day before. Miracles and promptings the Lord was orchestrating even the day before as we enjoyed the boardwalk along Wailea Point. The specifics are private and confidential, but I can say the hand of God was at work blessing lives as we and others did our best to listen to his voice not knowing beforehand what he was doing.

Later that Sunday evening we gathered with a few missionaries to reflect on God’s blessings. Not critical to this story is the fact that I was still in significant pain from the Wisdom teeth extraction I experienced a week before, but still God worked his miracles even in our pain and weakness. I asked for a priesthood blessing and was blessed with great love and peace as my fellow missionaries laid their hands on my head.

These experiences helped me later in the week make some refinements to a new poem, a song I drafted a couple weeks before. It was one of those songs that started with an idea, a thought during scripture study, and how life sometimes overwhelms us and seems to control us and our selfish nature comes out in our behavior. Reviewing the sermon on the mount (Matthew 5 and 6), and pondering recent experiences confirms Jesus’ ability to open our eyes to see new things as we walk with the him, with his aid. 

I’m now sixty-seven years old. I’ve lost some of my hair and some of my hearing. But the audible and spiritual renewals I felt this week gave me a glimpse of the joy one can feel through Christ-like love and service and promptings, even amidst pain, physical and emotional. What I experienced at Wailea may be a tiny glimpse of the joy of the physical resurrection. But what we experienced over that weekend may be even more profound, a glimpse of the eventual joy of God’s beautifully orchestrated steps, his agency-based redemption through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

You Open My Eyes

(Verse 1: The teaching – love your enemy)
You’ve heard it said in days of old, love your friend and hate your foe,
But Jesus said to love and bless those, who persecute the soul.
I fall short of earth and heaven, I don’t turn the other cheek,
My eye-for-eye and tooth-for-tooth ways, don’t bless the poor and meek.

(Verse 2: The teaching – judge righteously)
Now Jesus said don’t judge another, in your eye there is a beam,
The measure that you give your brother, the same you will redeem.
Do some good for one another, as you’d have them do to you,
To enter into Father’s kingdom, His will I need to do.

(Bridge: The struggle)
Life acts upon me o’r whelms me controls me,
I yield to my selfish old way.
Exerting great trust, I do what I must,
I act with His love and the dark turns to day.

(Chorus: Revelation)
You open my eyes, you open my eyes to see,
You open my ears, you open new sound to me,
You open my heart, it changes so I can be,
Like you.

In Everything Give Thanks – God is Good

We felt overwhelmed lately. With several emotional commitments each week (addiction recovery program [ARP], emotional resilience class, youth trek preparation, Sunday School class…), on Saturday I selfishly wondered if our usual guest might be too busy to come to our meeting. I thought, “Perhaps they won’t come on Valentines Day.” I was wrong. As we studied together, “In Everything Give Thanks,” we were blessed as is always the case for preparing, showing up and serving as the Lord encourages. But that was only the beginning of what the Lord had in mind for us that day.

We happily received a text from a special friend, one of the facilitators for ARP. He said, “I’m baptizing my son today at 3 PM.” Thrilled at the news we replied, “May we come?” To which he said, “Yes, please.” His life has been very challenging and we have had the privilege of knowing and serving with him. It has been inspiring to see his dedication to “his people” and his efforts to help others recover. He serves faithfully in his Elders Quorum Presidency, family history, temple trip committee, etc. The baptismal service was very nice. Included in the circle for ‘confirmation’ was a white-haired elderly gentleman in a wheel-chair. At the subsequent family luncheon the Lord again prompted service.  We sat by the same elderly man and engaged, asking story-prompting questions. He freely went on and on with ancestral and war stories. His sharing was more important to him than eating the stack of delicious food given to him by a loving family member. We listened with love. In addition to food, we were compensated by the love and friendship and special spirit of this large faithful family who had gathered from multiple islands. We looked around and felt great faith among this extended family.

A gift from a past journal – Last week I wrote that one of the reasons I keep a journal is to pass my faith and testimony to my posterity. In my spare time I compile and compose our family’s (Joan and I) personal history. My primary source are the many journals we’ve kept. This week, while reviewing my 2009 Journal, I was reminded that I once attended an addiction recovery meeting while on a business trip, and on assignment from my stake president. I was a member of the stake high council at the time. Support Group sessions are confidential and anonymous so I don’t speak of specific names or situations, but since the following account is from a time long ago (2009), and a place far away (Austin Texas), I’ll use it to express my feelings about this very meaningful work we are doing now on Maui.

(July 2009, Austin Texas) This evening [after work] I attended… a local stake center, an LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Meeting … My purpose is to learn about them and then teach the bishops in the stake about the resource. I was the first to arrive and met the missionary couple… They were very warm and friendly. Three other persons came (young adult age). They were all greeted by first name and it was obvious that the missionary couple and guests were acquainted with each other. All were made to feel very comfortable in a safe, respectful and kind setting… They asked for a prayer and I offered.

After welcomes and greetings, the Elder … gave the ground rules of confidentiality and volunteer participation and then explained a little about the principles. On this occasion we …took turns…reading all the material in the guide book for step 6. All chose to participate in the reading. As each participant read out loud the words of scripture and prophets regarding the Atonement and giving our lives to God to feel Joy and know God as did Lamoni, I reflected on my personal weaknesses and the blessing of the Atonement in my life.

After the reading, the missionaries offered some expressions of testimony and encouragement. It was then time for the ‘sharing’ portion of the meeting. No one was required, but all were given the opportunity… In turn each identified themselves by [first] name and that they were an addict. As I listened thoughtfully and attentively, love filled the room and my heart for these people that I did not know, but that were in real need of and using the Atonement of Christ to overcome their addiction and the temptations and pains associated with it.

[Each] spoke genuinely about the difficulty of dealing with their addiction and the effect of applying the principles of the program. But spoke much of the joy they were feeling as they had abstained for a long time. Another spoke of the long time it has taken for them to truly acknowledge Christ and let him help them overcome. Another spoke briefly and I felt that she was having daily continuous struggles. From each there was an element of testimony of the reality, and real effect of the Atonement of Christ.

I even offered some thoughts and expressed my gratitude for being part of this, for meeting them, and for feeling love among strangers. It was a sacred setting where the Spirit was present and the gospel was in action. As they spoke you could sense the struggle and the incremental success. “For a long time,” one offered “I couldn’t get myself to believe that Christ could help me overcome all my weaknesses and character flaws.” He then said that “it is working.” Another testified, “I’m finally starting to believe and feel my divine nature again.” Among the embarrassment and shame of their addictions, they were finding the way back, not their way, but the Lord’s way.

I thought of the Tree of Life, the iron rod, the forbidden paths and realized that those who have slipped or even let go of the infinite atonement, coming back to the rod is not as simple as letting go [of it], but it is possible. The missionary couple bore their testimonies and gave some final words of love and encouragement. One of the guests offered a closing prayer and then each parted ways with renewal and fellowship. Tonight I truly observed the gospel in its action and I went away a better person feeling closer to God and my brothers and sisters. (End of 2009 quotation)

Regardless of our weaknesses, big or small, the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real, and powerful. This is our blessed experience on Maui, several times each week. God is Good.