(Personal! But okay to share)

“A miracle happens each time you walk through that door.” Words like these came from my mouth as we started this week’s Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support group meeting. I continued sincerely, “The Savior takes from our hearts and minds any criticism or judgement. In fact this is evidence that this is his work and he is with us all.” Looking into their eyes I spoke the truth, “We feel nothing but love, compassion, and gratitude that you are here.” Each pair of eyes in the room looked back with love and trust. And so we began another confidential and safe, “Healing through the Savior” meeting.

As prescribed by church materials, Sister Hardman and I conduct the meeting, welcome guests, set some expectations and then all who wish take turns reading from the guide book. We first read the title of each of the 12 Steps of recovery, then we continue taking turns reading the study material for one of the 12 steps. After that, our facilitator, a person who is in recovery, guides the ‘sharing’ portion of the meeting where each is given an opportunity to share about their recovery. These are often very inspiring, especially as they bear testimony of the Saviors power and role in their success. As the service missionaries, we conclude with “our testimony of the Church, of the ARP, and of the Savior and His Atonement.”

In order to do this, that is bear personal testimony of the ARP and the Savior’s Atonement in our lives, Sister Hardman and I have been studying the 12 steps during our personal time, individually and together. This was our fourth session so we were on Step 4. In the first three steps we honestly admit our inability to overcome some things on our own, that we need the power of God to restore us to spiritual health, and that we need to turn our will and lives to the care of God and Jesus Christ. These are very powerful principles to build our faith and step us forward. In Step 4 we perform a searching and fearless moral inventory of our lives, past and present to help us start our recovery from a position of truth, knowing what has occurred in our lives bringing us to where we are today. As an example, I applied it to some character traits I really want and need to improve, behaviors that cause me to be less than I know I want to be, or reactions that impede success in my cherished relationships.  I chose pride, specifically impatience, taking offense and being judgmental as the character weakness of focus.

I first wanted to understand better how the twelve steps relate to each other so as any good engineer might do, I summarized them on a mind map or diagram (see picture), while reading scripture references for each. With the big picture in mind I then dove into Step 4 praying and writing, looking for situations or events in my life that may have contributed to learning bad behavioral habits and how they might be triggered presently. It was difficult and sometimes painful but like Nephi who exclaimed, “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh… I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me…” I pressed on with, “I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led be through mine afflictions…” (2 Nephi 4:17-19)

I considered events from early in my life to later, from home, family, school, church, and other social interactions. Sure enough, I stuck with the prayerful process and some events and habits and patterns emerged (which I won’t relate here). I considered fears that may have invited unhealthy defense behaviors, and false beliefs that may have contributed to those fears and found a number of things I can focus on, including spiritual things to remove barriers to recovery. As I understand it, the purpose of all this is to move forward with more thorough repentance (Steps 5-9), accountability, personal revelation, continue to seek and receive the Lord’s power, and serve or help others do the same (Steps 10-12.) I’ve experience enough so far to be very confident that in time I too can be ‘Healed through the Savior’ of my persistent weaknesses as I implement those principles and commandments and covenants that will enable his power in my life, the power of Christ. This process is showing us more specifically how to Come unto Him, and to listen to latter-day prophets. For example, President Nelson has encouraged us to study the Atonement of Jesus Christ regularly. This counsel now resonates with power in my heart.

“I’m in this process with you,” I said at the end of this week’s ARP support meeting. I was able to bear testimony that the process points us to the Savior including specifics from his life, example, teachings, commandments and promises. “For me, the process pointed me to studying more deeply and regularly the Atonement of Christ and his grace. The lack of more understand has contributed to fears resulting in impatience with others, mis-judgement, and my taking offense. “I know we can be guided to receive his power, specific power to help us overcome or recover.” Our meeting ended as it started, feeling nothing but love, compassion, and gratitude for everyone present, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ that gives such hope.

Independence Day – This past week, to celebrate Independence Day we enjoyed a concert at the ‘Shops at Wailea,’ a fun Hawaiian group called Nuff Sedd (genre: Reggae). We then went to a highly popular (think island traffic jam) July 4^th off-shore fireworks celebration at the beach of the Grand Wailea. The fireworks shot from a barge surrounded by observing sailing vessels were fantastic, and the reflection out over the ocean was really cool.