AncestorClips are short stories about real people. Each clip nurtures awareness of a time, a place, and the character of a man or woman who cultivated a path for our life. The reader feels the good, the obstacles, the happiness, the sadness, and the overcoming. They cheer us, make us resilient when challenged, give us purpose, and connect us to our multi-generational family. Each story is followed by reflections from the author and readers sharing how the story strengthened or inspired them. Ken Hardman is a son, a brother, a grandson, a great-grandson… He is also a husband, father and grand-father. Ken is a professional engineer, engineering mentor, technical writer, and associate technical fellow at a major aerospace company. He is a writer of engineering and family history stories. Please join Ken in reading, reflecting upon, or writing #AncestorClips
Hi tide, large swells, strong wind, and shoreline sprays on Maui
Presently the Earth, Moon, and Sun are approaching alignment where the Sun and the Moon together pull Earth’s oceans toward them. Already the mid-day tides are high. Combined with intense wind and ocean energy, the surf is impressive here on Maui. Tuesday we hiked to our favorite outcropping of ancient lava called Dragons Teeth near Kapalua on the north-west shore. Huge ocean swells and waves pound the ragged rocks and in anger as it were burst high into the sky dispersed by the wind into expanding spray which pours out along the shore. We observed the scene as close as we felt safe. It’s among Earth’s awe-inspiring recitals where man’s influence seems small to the power being displayed. Later in the day, as the Earth turns on the wings of God’s power, the ocean bulge recedes to a lower tide. If the winds are calm then the seas are calm and the shore rests from its prior labor, for a time.
Like the calming of the angry sea’s from high to low energy, as service missionaries we meet persons who have lived lives of great energy, even anger who, when they turn themselves to God, God changes their heart and turns them away from the pull to a life more filled with joy and peace. The Gospel of Jesus Christ brings peace, peace from addiction, peace from heartache, peace from sickness, peace from all winds of turmoil that face us today.
This past Sunday we had the blessing of attending two Sacrament meetings here in Kahului. We worshipped with the Waiehu Ward and the Young Single Adult (YSA) ward where we spoke about the Savior as our Advocate with the Father, and sang a special musical number, “My Shepherd will supply My Need.” We met two YSA’s who are recent converts to the Church. We pray that the YSA’s will feel and be blessed by the Lord. After the meeting we were greeted by several couples from our home town area in Utah, one of them is related to a member of our ward. (See photo)
Monday our Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meeting was on Step 10 – Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. Some of the message points are:
Honest self-appraisal opens Christ’s redeeming power
Allow the Lord to change our thoughts, feelings and heart, then
Behavior will change
Focus on the Saviors grace
There is power in repentance or turning
Spiritually prepare for each day
Watch our thoughts, words, and deeds
Humility and self-control
Be patient…
After our ARP meeting on Monday we had the privilege of getting to know our stake president and his family better. We had a musical Family Home Evening (FHE) with song, prayer, more music, messages, cookies, and hot chocolate. We had the opportunity to share our testimonies about the song messages. They were gracious. It was a special evening.
We spent this last week at home in Utah for personal business, doctor appointments, temple sessions, and time with family. While there we were able to help our son Mike and his family relocate from Santaquin to Eagle Mountain. We had several gatherings with other family members and celebrated Halloween, Melanie’s birthday (see Olive Garden picture) and our 45th Wedding anniversary (see picture of music video) with them. Being late fall, we enjoyed gathering up and bagging the golden leaves (picture). Mom lost her wedding ring in the leaves, so we thought. We prayed, and were led to find it in one of the fingers of her gardening glove. Just before returning to Maui we were able to spend a couple hours with our daughter Lisa from Alaska, whom we haven’t seen for a year.
While away we continued to do what we could to further our service on Maui. We conducted our weekly Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) Meeting by Zoom, compiled some helpful information for ARP participants to find additional support, and coordinated a few speaking assignments in various wards on Maui. We continue planning for our 2026 Maui ward youth handcart trek. We are very grateful for our Sunday School president who substituted teaching our youth Sunday School class, and for senior missionary Elder Taylor who substituted for us at the in-person ARP meeting. Not to forget Elder and Sister Marriott who take us to and from the airport each time we travel.
We are glad to be back on Maui. We have come to love and feel loved by our friends here. Our Kahului 1stWard Newsletter editor asked us to compose a message about our work as service missionaries. The following is the result of that request.
“Simon Peter walked on the water; even if but for a moment.” We spoke these words one night at the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP), called Healing through the Savior. Each participant had just shared some setbacks, hopes and successes regarding their addictions. At the end we bore our testimony that Jesus knows and understands through his Atonement (Alma 7:11-13). “Jesus honors efforts of faith;” we said, “even if we stumble.” Like Peter, a miracle happened as he walked on the water; even if but for a moment.” Earlier, Joan and I had visited Maui’s sacred Iao Valley and ascended to the needle viewpoint. I asked Joan, “What is your favorite New Testament scene?” She replied, “Jesus walking on the water.” I tapped my phone and opened to Mathew 14 and we quietly read the story. “The ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with the waves: for the wind was contrary…Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea…Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water…” When he sank, Jesus did not give up on Peter; both of them were well aware of the dangers of the sea, but Jesus honored his effort and momentary success, “And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him…” At Iao, we walked down the many steps to the river where we waded out into the water, sat on a large boulder, reflecting and sensing truth. To our friends in addiction recovery we testified of our Lords honoring of our attempts at faith and as we call on Him, will save us when we fall.
Our hearts are broken when we hear of broken lives, and broken relationships. Addiction or other compulsive behaviors seems to break everything that is good. As Service Missionary Group Leaders, we have conducted support meetings on Maui for about six months. We also conduct a weekly remote session by Zoom for participants on Maui, Moloka’i, and Lana’i. We have learned much on how to conduct these meetings and how to provide love and support to those with compulsive or addictive behaviors. With the Savior in our hearts, compassion comes naturally.
Since these meetings are anonymous and confidential, we don’t take roll but they speak by first names. As we read and discuss the 12 steps of recovery we sense a measure of their pain followed by the hope they feel as they seek Healing through the Savior. Their observations about Gospel principles are often profound. Their sharing can be heartbreaking, and we are anxious for their success in recovery. They plead for help. Sister Hardman and I invite all of you to pray for us and for the people we serve. Pray that each will find grace and power in Christ and make progress. The work blesses Sister Hardman and me, our relationship and even our family.
Jesus came with healing in His wings and is mighty to save. He lives to bless us with His love. In Addiction Recovery meetings all find hope, help and healing, even those whose hearts break for their loved-ones. In Healing through the Savior, we find Him.
As Group Leaders, Sister Hardman and I have conducted Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings on Maui Hawaii for about six months. We also conduct a weekly remote session by Zoom for participants on Maui, Moloka’i, and Lana’i, and anyone else across Hawaii that may want to attend. We participate in ongoing training and coordination with our counterparts in other parts of the country. We have learned much on how to conduct these meetings and how to provide love and support to those with compulsive or addictive behaviors. With the Savior in our hearts, compassion comes naturally.
We’ve met over two dozen people who have come to our meetings; some once or twice, some for a month or two, and some more continuously. Since these meetings are anonymous and confidential, we don’t take roll but we get to know them by their first names. As we read and discuss the 12 steps of recovery we sense a measure of their pain followed by the hope they feel as they seek Healing through the Savior. Their observations about Gospel principles are often profound. Their sharing about their experiences are heartbreaking, and we are anxious for their hope and success in recovery. Some find it difficult to find helpful and appropriate individual support. They plead for help.
Why are we sharing this with our friends and family? To encourage you to consider providing support to anyone you may know struggling with compulsive or addictive behaviors and is striving to recover. Presently we have several who attend faithfully. However, they often feel isolated and wonder where to turn for individual help. We read in the guide book that “Support from others is important to help us find recovery and healing. Having someone we can turn to in times of weakness often proves to be essential… It is easy to fall back into these behaviors without the support and perspective of others. Connecting with others not only provides the encouragement we may need but also helps us remember that we are worthy of love as children of God.” You can imagine that this last point is so poignant and powerful; to receive love from others when one doesn’t feel worthy of love! What a consequential way to minister!
In the guidebook, participants are encouraged to benefit from the following sources of support:
Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
Family Members
Friends
Ecclesiastical leaders
Sponsors
Recovery meetings, and
Mental health and medical professionals.
Again, we invite each reader of this letter to consider making yourself available to persons in need of support. Learn about the program and how to support others at https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org.
(From the list above, “Sponsors are people who have found recovery by working through the 12 steps. Because of their experience, they know how to help…” In the Church’s program, sponsors are not assigned. Asking for help is a personal decision of prayerfully considering trustworthy people who they feel comfortable with or would be most helpful.) https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/addiction-recovery-program-2023/17-appendix-support?lang=eng)
On Sunday, we attended our stake conference, enjoyed Zoom visits with our family, then we met by Zoom for the coordination meeting with our Hawaii Family Services ARP manager and other Group Leaders. They serve across the Hawaiian Islands and like us, come from across the country. We feel blessed to associate with these wonderful service missionaries who give of their time and hearts to provide compassion and support to those in need. May we encourage our readers, especially seniors to consider any kind of service mission.
Other activities – For physical exercise and fresh air, Sister Hardman and I regularly walk the beach. For emotional health we continue to visit parts of the island, meet people, and serve in our local ward as youth Sunday School teachers. For spiritual health we read scriptures and other inspiring works including General Conference talks, BYU Devotionals, and church publications.
A great communications case study – We also enjoy reading local church history; specifically, “George Q. Cannon, Hawaiian Missions.” This week we read a journal entry that we recommend, dealing with hurt feelings and misunderstandings among friends, companions, or in this case fellow missionaries. We are certain all can relate to their experience.
Monday, 6 September, 1852. “…While eating breakfast Bro. Hawkins made some remarks about the field that he had been appointed to preside over and said he felt it to be a large one and he would like it if someone could take charge of Kula branch if they felt like it &c. &c. Bro. Hammond,” agreed and said, “that the way things had been going on was not calculated to do well, no one having a settled place, but first one preaching at one time at a place and then another following and preaching at that same place, & the first leaving things partly settled thinking that the one following would attend to it…” Elder Cannon asked how it could be avoided and referred to their previous council meeting where, “we had taken measures to prevent confusion of this kind… There were several remarks and replies made backward and forward and considerable feeling manifested…” Allusions, insinuations and assumptions of partiality heated the conversation. “…I then arose and told my feelings…and disclaimed all thought of doing as he said I had done in regard to favoring some to the prejudice of others &c. &c. And I wished him to state in what respect I had done this and what his reasons were for making the remarks he had.”
The group conversed back and forth at length retracing the interactions that caused the feelings. Some had questioned the authority of others. Some had felt slighted from others. Mistakes were acknowledged and apologies were given for unintended expressions or snubbing, and rational decisions were made.
One “had felt that he was treading on toes and therefore he had made the remark ‘that he was only a passenger on board the Ship.’ These things had grieved him because he thought there was a disposition to keep him back especially when he thought that he had made sacrifices as well as his brethren [and] that he had done all he could do. I arose and attempted to speak but could not as my feelings were so much wrought up that I could not express my feelings… I never, to my remembrance, in my life experienced such feelings, they were exquisite and I felt cut down to think that Bro. H. [Hammond] & I had mingled together and I had unbosomed myself to him time and again and yet all this time he had these feelings against me and had hinted to me and I had been so dull that I did not understand—these thoughts oppressed me and it was in vain that I tried to express them for a while…I prayed to the Lord to calm my feelings by His Spirit and I did experience a calm…the storm had passed and the gush of feeling had subsided and I felt that it would all come out right. I arose and spoke and was enabled to tell my feelings and I had the spirit—I reminded Bro. H. that…I merely told my feelings at that time without the least design to retard him in any particular…”
“We had a good deal of talk and laid our feelings open one to the other and settled it all satisfactorily to all parties…I thought this worthy of note that I might be reminded to ascertain at all times the feelings of the brethren and to cultivate at all times a spirit of candor that we might have no misunderstandings.”(https://www.churchhistorianspress.org/george-q-cannon/1850s/1852/09-1852)
“Daddy, let’s talk about!” When our older children were very young, this is what they would say each night before we’d pray. “Okay,” I responded, wanting to forever encourage open family conversation. “What do you want to talk about?” With raised hands and eyebrows they would exclaim, “What we did today!”
At the end of this letter there is a link to my brand-new song or lullaby, called “Talk About.” I sincerely hope you enjoy it. In the meantime, what shall we talk about in this letter?
We could talk about the wonderful new First Presidency announcement last Tuesday and the blessings that have and will come to individuals, families, the Church and the world under their inspired direction. We could talk about the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) correlation meeting we attended, or the pleasant swim Joan and I took snorkeling in the gentle waves of Keawakapu Beach in Kihei on Wednesday. We could talk about the deeply sensitive ARP meetings we conducted on Thursday and Monday and the touching spirit we felt lifting the brokenhearted as they look to the Savior for help. We could talk about the inspiring stake fireside on Friday where Elder Takashi Wada, General Authority Seventy, spoke deeply about scripture study and the Book of Mormon. We could talk about our Saturday trip to Kapalua and our walk along the D.T. Fleming Beach as waves of sunshine and heavy rain took turns giving life to the ocean and island. We could talk about the pleasant Saturday evening ministering visit to our new ward friends, Tom and Pat Miyamoto learning about their family and their life-long faith. We performed several songs for them that night including ‘Talk About.’ We could talk about our non-member friend Nick who showed up at Sacrament meeting on Sunday and sat with us as we worshipped and listened to the Stake President speak boldly, genuinely and spiritually about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We could talk about teaching our beautiful youth Sunday School class, “Arise and shine forth that thy light may be a standard for the nations…” (D&C 115:5) (or the long line of kids after Sunday School for Joan’s cherry cheese cupcakes and brownies!)…
But here’s what I’d really like to talk about!
Life has worn me down a bit and Joan thoughtfully and thankfully reminds me that I don’t smile as much as I did when we first met. I am also too quiet at times. As a young missionary my theme scripture was, “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” (Proverbs 15:13) Back then, I reminded my fellow missionaries every day to ‘keep smiling.’ I love my family and the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ so very much. But I need to do better, amidst life’s difficulties, “[arising and shining forth (with a genuine smile) that Christ’s light] may be a standard for the nations…” The joy I feel is deep. But the spirit often prompts me that this joy needs to surface and be visible in my countenance.
Often while walking along these beautiful Maui beaches I am captivated with the sand, its swirling and tumbling motion in the waves, its composite shape along the shore, its individual grain size and colors, and it’s infinite quantity. I’m deeply impressed with the Earth, the heavens, and all of God’s creations, “innumerable as the stars; or, if ye were to count the sand upon the seashore ye could not number them.” (D&C 132:30). Of course in this and similar verses God is speaking of the Abrahamic promise “of his loins…which were to continue so long as they were in the world; and…out of the world…should continue as innumerable as the stars…” Sinking my feet in the sand I reflect on the infinite nature of this promise and yet how personal and intimate God’s relationship is with each of his children. “How many grains of sand are there in that circle,” I asked Joan while swirling my arm in a circular manner down toward the sand? (Joan knows when my engineering mind is probing the universe; her father Ferril Losee was the same way.) “I know the doctrines” I said to Joan, “so why is it so hard to have faith, Godlike faith, for the welfare of people we love?” She listened kindly, and then encouraged me to keep talking. All of a sudden, I just started talking and kept talking as we walked. Joan engaged as well. The spirit moved the conversation to hope, and then to faith, and then to charity and the relationship between these three principles. “I need to have more faith in Heavenly Fathers Plan, especially when I feel down or low for the welfare of someone we love, or the people we serve in the addiction recovery program. Then some familiar scriptures hit me.
“Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness,…that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness…” “…except men shall have charity they cannot inherit that place…in the mansions of thy Father…” (Ether 12:28, 34)
“…and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing…” (Moroni 7:44)
“And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoices in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things…
“Charity never faileth…Cleave unto charity…Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever…Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love…” (Moroni 7:45-48)
I’ve always thought my faith to be strong. But the spirit tells me that my hope and my charity, even Christlike love needs a lot of purifying (like the sand) and that I need to ‘talk about’ more intently, sincerely, and purposely with my Father for this love. I suppose that the very things that have ‘worn’ on me over the years are also the very things that can refine me and help me be filled with this love. I’m ready to keep trying.
Thanks for listening. Now, “What do you want to talk about?” Please feel free to reply. In the meantime, please enjoy my new song, “Talk About.”
Serving requires compassion and emotional resilience, either because of our own shortcomings, or because of heartbreak in the lives of those we serve in the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). I’m trying to learn more each week to find peace in the Lords way, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27)
We had the blessing of attending Zone Conference this past week with the full-time missionaries. Although not officially part of the full-time mission, we felt welcomed and loved. We cross paths with them regularly as they often have friends (investigators) that need support in the ARP. The full-time missionary senior couples in particular have adopted us, befriended us, and encouraged and supported us ever since we arrived six months ago. They invited us as usual to their senior couple dinner the night before Zone Conference, and then encouraged us to attend. We are part time service missionaries serving under the direction of our local stake president, so we felt a little out of place but they treated us as part of the mission. (See Zone Conference photo)
We are not the only ones who need faith in times of fear. We listened carefully as the Mission Leaders taught important principles to the missionaries. My notes included:
President Anderson
“Fear does not come from God…”
“It is hard to be truly humble so He humbles us…”
“Hundreds of miracles are happening all over the mission…”
“How have I seen Gods hand in my life today? Write it in your journal.”
Sister Anderson
“Avoid comparing ourselves with others. We are miserable when we do…”
“Emulate with charity…take the good of others…”
“Let God prevail in your life.”
This Zone Conference experience brought back memories from the mission of my youth forty-five years ago in California. At that time I remember not only my interest in sharing the gospel, but my heart-felt interest in the missionaries, their spiritual and emotional success. As an assistant to the president those many years ago, I felt a strong desire to teach, encourage, and love my fellow missionaries and leaders. We felt that great spirit of unity, purpose, and love this past week with the full-time missionaries. Our participation concluded with a group photo and lunch.
Sister Hardman and I now conduct two ARP support meetings each week. One of the meetings is in-person with participants at our local stake center high-council room. The other is by Zoom so that people from distant locations can participate including Hana, Molokai, and Lana’i. Participation varies from a few to a dozen each week. Per policy and instructions, what is shared by participants during the meeting is not discussed outside the meeting to encourage helpful sharing between them. However, we encourage everyone to be aware of the program and its blessings. To do so, you may want to watch or listen to one or more recorded ARP meetings which exist to support persons who can’t attend or who haven’t felt the need or courage yet to attend. Here are a few places you can go to see what it’s all about.
The last one in the list, the “Coming Back” Podcast, is not an official church production, but on a recent scenic drive to Hana, Joan and I felt heartbreak for what this individual went through in part due to addictions. We were grateful to learn of the many miracles experienced by him and his family. It gave us hope for the people that we meet every week in our service. We also found renewal in socializing with some adult couples in the Kihei Ward.
As members of the church, we have been friendshipping a neighbor family. They are kind and love to speak about Jesus Christ. One is a member and the other two are not. The member hasn’t been attending for several years but they all express interest in coming to church again. We had previously introduced them to the missionaries and on Saturday the missionaries invited us to visit with them together. We listened at length while the inactive brother shared his love of God and Christ but also shared many pains and disappointments he was carrying in his heart. After some time we asked if we could read scriptures with him. He said, “How about right now.” We found a somewhat private place in the apartment common area and each of us shared a favorite Book of Mormon scripture. Knowing of the wrestle this brother was having, when it was my turn I chose Enos who wrestled with the Lord and later after much prayer found peace and healing. “Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed. And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away. And I said: Lord, how is it done? And he said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ… wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.” (Enos 1:5-8)
After we all shared a scripture we each bore testimony to him of the truth of the Gospel and of God’s love for us and for him. We felt the Lords spirit there and were grateful to be a part of that meeting.
On Sunday, as directed by our stake president we attended two wards for sacrament meeting and to make brief announcements in Priesthood and Relief Society regarding the ARP. “I enjoyed the ward-hopping,” Sister Hardman said. We then enjoyed a Zoom call with our children and grand-children.
At age nineteen, Sidney Glenn Hardman left Cedar Fort, the remote Utah town of his youth. He found work, and his eternal companion, Dorothy Mae Griffin. Forty years later after many good years of marriage, six children, eighteen grandchildren, several startup companies and numerous trials and blessings, Glenn and Dorothy had moved back. Dorothy wrote, “Why were we directed to live in Cedar Fort? What is the Lord’s purpose for us here?” Years before during the many visits they had made while raising their children Dorothy recalled saying, “I would never live in Cedar Fort.” They were concerned by the influence on their children of “an element of [church] inactivity” and lower standards.
Later, with the children now on their own, Glenn’s most recent company closed its doors. They felt the burden of a lingering mortgage, as well as the load of caring for both of their aging widowed fathers and felt “grateful that each one of ‘them’ had their home paid for.” Without an income they were scared, but “felt at ease, almost in a patience mode, and we talked and pondered…wondering about the calmness we felt.” One day Dorothy asked herself what she really wanted. “All of a sudden, the light went on, and I [knew that my desire was to] have a home that was paid for as we entered our ‘later years’.” Further pondering brought Cedar Fort to mind as an option. “No, it didn’t even shock me, and I thought, why not?”
Glenn was surprised but didn’t hesitate. “It seemed so right.” Being people of action, the wheels turned quickly. They found a lot with a foundation and partial house and purchased it, sold their home in Orem, moved into a trailer on the lot on Labor Day, began construction, “and the future was coming into view.” They were in by Christmas.
“We had determined,” Dorothy recorded, “that we would not come to Cedar Fort to try to tell the good people here what to do. Rather, we would quietly wait and serve when called, and we would make friends and help wherever needed… Glenn had come ‘home’ and his old friends and family welcomed us. We…decided to look for the good, to be positive…”
In addition to church callings and community service, Dorothy continue to care for her aging father which required the cost of regular trips to Ogden, money that they didn’t have. “I wondered how we managed to come up with that much…” She learned from her diseased mother to pray “for the little things.” Dorothy learned to love and appreciate her difficult aging father through the care she provided. Glenn also received callings and served in the community including as Mayor, while once again re-building a little company in a barn. This provided jobs for family and friends. When called by the bishop to be the Young Men’s President, he said, “At my age? I don’t have the patience any more…” After Dorothy was prompted to review his patriarchal blessing, Glenn went to work as as he had many times before directed by the Lord. His blessing read, “Take an interest in the leadership of young people…through your fine spirit and enthusiasm, you will be a great power in bringing them to live lives of righteousness…” And so, God’s purpose in prompting them back to Cedar Fort became more clear, to have a home that was paid for, and to serve and improve the lives they were concerned about many years before.
(#AncestorClips – Written by Kenneth R. Hardman. Reference: Sidney Glenn Hardman & Dorothy Mae Griffin, Their Story and Their Life, Volume IV, 1985-2007, edited by Kenneth R. Hardman 2024, pg. 46-50)
Light penetrating the clouds as we walk through them
Lunch with missionaries who just arrived on the island
Sunsets and moon-risings
Sand refined and smooth
I could talk about the challenging moments this week, in all their varieties – physical, emotional, and spiritual – but I feel to focus on the light that shone through to illuminate each of those learning moments. As Elder Peter M. Johnson read in General Conference on Sunday, “Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God…I am the light which shineth in darkness…” (D&C 6:21) The light of General Conference including the music was a personal blessing. Sister Tracy Browning taught, “Sacred music can shine the Light of Christ on the hearer and can pour it into the heart of the singer.” (Sister Tracy Y. Browning, 2nd Counselor in the Primary General Presidency)
We began our General Conference having prayed all week for those preparing and participating in the conference. After the Saturday morning session we had breakfast at a members home with the full-time missionaries and other guests. A non-member friend of the family was there and we all had wonderful conversation about Jesus Christ and the Church. He was very anxious to bring ‘religious structure’ back into his life. We all encouraged with love.
Later that day, we felt prompted to visit our neighbors. As we entered their home to pleasant smiles, Jana’i looked up from the tea-leaf weaving project she was preparing for local school children. I said, “Can we tell you why today is such a blessing?” Curtis and Jana’i nodded yes. “It is General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” They again nodded with some recognition of what this is. We continued, “It is so wonderful to hear so much encouragement and joy and messages about Jesus Christ.” Jana’i replied, “I feel and appreciate your enthusiasm.” From prior conversation we knew that their son had been baptized years ago when some of his friends left on missions. They talked about other friends they’ve had who are members of the Church and have had a positive influence on them. To our invitation to join us to watch General Conference they politely said, “Maybe next time,” so we gave them the link and encouraged them to participate. After more mutually enjoyable conversation we departed till our next visit.
We’d like to now share a couple examples of light shining through some challenging moments this week.
Emotional – At our Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) support meetings we often feel some of the weight that we imagine addicts carry as they seek healing and sobriety in a world filled with ongoing trials and temptations. There are times when I personally feel overwhelmed for them and my heart aches. True, we don’t know exactly what they are going through. But we do our best to love and read scriptures with them and encourage the light of Christ to shine through the darkness. ARP Step 5 involves the principle of confession and more than one person expressed how hard it is to confess to ecclesiastical leaders who haven’t experienced what they are going through. When I bore my testimony this week, I feel like I fell short of expressing Christlike love. But after the meeting the Spirit helped me see light that was indeed shining through the darkness, even though not obvious to me at the time.
Spiritual – One form of spiritual darkness is when doubt or fear accompanies the loss of hope in one or more eternal blessings. But here again, the potential light is in the process of applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ, learning the truth thereby overcoming or allowing Christ to disperse the darkness. I won’t go into personal specifics here, but I am learning more and more what He meant, “If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31-32) Revelation through the Holy Ghost while studying the Word – frees us from many things including darkness that can come from false or incomplete understandings.
As an engineer, my ears perked up this weekend when President Eyring said, “Long ago I sought to learn physics and mathematics in my college years. I felt overwhelmed…” He went on to express how challenging and discouraging it was. He prayed and received, “I am proving you, but I am also with you.” He then shared, “I learned that my struggle with physics was actually a gift from the Lord. He was teaching me that with His help, I could do things that seemed impossible if I had the faith…” (Henry B. Eyring, Oct. 2025)
As we review our week, mission, and life, we see that most days have been filled with light. A young Eucalyptus tree growing on a volcano, light penetrating the clouds as we walk through them, lunch with missionaries who just arrived on the island, sunsets and moon-risings. The blessings of the Gospel, the Earth, and family are wonderful. The more we study the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the brighter we see our past, present and future. We are very grateful for our Father in Heaven, His Son Jesus Christ, and the comfort and revelation from the Holy Ghost. Like life, while walking on the beach, our bare feet leave depressions in the infinite and perfect grains of soft coral sand. When we turn back we see the waves rush in and flow back out, our footprint gone, the sand even more refined and smooth. As we walk intentionally through life with Him, baring our souls amidst his righteous waves, He refines us even in the process and presence of his beautiful creations. We are grateful for these moments, and the light of the Earth and all our Father in Heaven has prepared for his children.
This is personal! Perhaps it is more appropriate for a private journal. But, being vulnerable might help me overcome a weakness I’ve fought for years; a weakness that puts a strain on my most cherished relationships, and my discipleship. Perhaps these thoughts will help others in this world of back-and-forth assertions with little respect and self-evaluation. The short coming is, “I’m too impatient and judgmental with others when I feel mis-understood or brushed-off.” I’ve tried a lot to stop doing it, but long-term persistence of this un-Christ-like behavior makes me believe that I can’t truly change without God’s help. This is especially true, “in a world filled with dizzying distractions.” President Russell M. Nelson proclaimed, “Now is the time for us to make our discipleship our highest priority.” (Nelson, The Lord Jesus Christ Will Come Again, General Conference, October 2024)
In our service missionary calling we commit to confidentiality as addicts share with us their challenges and progress ‘working the steps’ of recovery. They come seeking support. I cannot share their stories with you. However, since my non-chemical shortcoming is mine, I can share my story with you in hopes that sharing will help in my recovery. In Step 1 of “Healing through the Savior – 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program (ARP),” the addicts we work with “admit that we, of ourselves, are powerless to overcome our addictions and that our lives have become unmanageable.” ARP Steps one through three emphasize faith, humility and trust in God. The other steps dig into self-inventory, honesty, turning our shortcomings over to God, and restitution followed by service to others.
In conversation with our Honolulu Family Services manager, I discussed my desire to apply the 12 steps to my own shortcomings. He recommended another church publication called, “Finding Strength in the Lord – Emotional Resilience.” I acquired a copy then Joan and I started studying it together. While working through the early sections I thought, “Yes!” with a mental fist-pump. “This may be more applicable to what I’m struggling with.” We read about faith centered in Jesus Christ, activities that strengthen faith, and adapting to emotional challenges…” And then a grin of hope re-shaped my face and heart when I read this applicable statement by Elder David A. Bednar. “To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon…” (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offed Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 90)
My eyebrows raised when we got to the ‘Triggers’ section. “Yes,” I thought. “I need to understand the triggers of my emotional reactions.” As an engineer I know all about control systems and how specific system behavior is governed by what is within the system as well as the external environments, inputs and triggers to the system. This ‘triggered’ my attention (pun intended) and I went to work, breaking it down as instructed in the manual while continually “[looking] unto [God] in every thought,” (D&C 6:36) and remembering that “the worth of souls (my soul, and everyone else) is great in the sight of God.” (D&C 18:10).
From a list of common inaccurate thinking patterns I circled two that I thought might be at the root of my problem:
Jumping to Conclusions (e.g. assuming the worst intentions by the person), and
Discounting the positive (e.g. focusing on this moment, forgetting all the good things the person has done for me)
Then, in response to the question, “Why do we sometimes think these ways?” I wrote: To excuse, justify, beat-up, or protect myself, and blame others. These are emotional feelings and allowed me to further clarify my weakness as follows. When I am in conversation and express myself, if the other person responds or acts in an unexpected way I pridefully tend to feel ignored, un-appreciated, brushed-off, discounted, or mis-understood. I feel judgmental, offended, blaming and angry followed by a secondary reaction of self-criticism, thinking “I didn’t explain myself very well.” I then tend to snap-back and the relationship suffers.
The manual then presents this step. “After you identify your inaccurate thinking patterns, the next step is to try and change them to more accurate, truthful thoughts. You can invite the Savior’s influence by challenging your thoughts and asking whether they are true.” For example: Is this thought something the Savior would want me to think or feel? Is the person really ignoring me or discounting what I’m saying? Is the person really brushing me off? Is the person truthfully uncaring about what I said? Considering all I know about this person, does it make sense that they would deliberately respond unfavorably? What do I know about myself and them that tells me my thinking about them in this moment is not correct?
The Spirit directed me to a recent Come, Follow Me lesson. I remembered how the Lord chastened his people when they were not following his direction. He said, “whom I love I also chasten… [and] I prepare a way for their deliverance…” (D&C 95:1) I re-read this section of scripture and based on the Lords actions I compiled a list of personal actions to help me overcome my weakness.
Be patient and clear explaining what I say, giving a little more background and purpose,
Be patient in listening and reaction, responding slower and with clarity, assuming the person cares even when their response seems otherwise,
Be patient, listen more than speak.
I note the glaring repetition of, “Be patient” in this counsel. Following instructions, I re-evaluated my “feeling mis-understood” emotional triggers in the table below where I contrasted thinking errors with more accurate and productive thoughts. My next step? Having more faith with action, remembering the worth of all, and patiently waiting on the Lord in all my communications. I’m humbly praying for success. Thanks for listening.
I am grateful for my life. I’m grateful for medical professionals who help me manage several conditions that need regular attention either by medication, eating differently, or exercising more. I’m humbled but blessed to live healthy enough to do most of the things I want to do with family, friends, and in service for God’s children. I’m grateful for spiritual professionals who help and guide me back to my Father in Heaven.
After a couple doctors’ appointments and before returning to Maui, I awoke early one morning and read on my phone Library, “Overcome the World and Find Rest,” by President Russell M. Nelson (Oct. 2022) There is much great instruction and invitation in this talk including, “My plea to you this morning is to find rest from the intensity, uncertainty, and anguish of this world by overcoming the world through your covenants with God… Spend more time in the temple, and seek to understand how the temple teaches you to rise above this fallen world.” I have learned to go to the temple with focus on a specific doctrine, principle, or invitation from prophets. It was still very early in the morning; but, swiping my phone to the Temple Reservation ‘app,’ I found space in the 5:30 AM Endowment session (not surprising) at the Mount Timpanogos Temple, got dressed, printed a family name card and drove under the starry sky to the bright steeple on the hill in American Fork. (see picture)
I got the feeling that many of these patrons were regulars at the early morning session. As I focused, I noticed many references related to ‘overcoming the world,’ like “rising above” or “becoming clean from.” Sure enough, just as President Nelson stated, ‘faithfulness to covenants’ was stated as key to such blessings. I prayed in the celestial room to know how to do it, how to be more fully faithful to my covenants with God to find rest and overcome the world and receive help. It was one of those mornings where I knew more than anything else around me that God lives, Jesus is the Christ, the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored, and revelation is given.
On the flight we studied the Church booklet, “Finding Strength in the Lord – Emotional Resilience,” Chapter 1, “Building Emotional Strength in the Lord.” This is such good material to help me and others make changes in character and behavior. Upon our return to Maui we exchanged several posts and pictures with family from Virginia to Alaska, from Utah to California. We are grateful for their love and support. Pictures of our children make us proud. Pictures of our grandchildren bring us joy. Pictures of fall leaves changing colors show us beauty in God’s creations.
On Sunday morning Joan and I made the half hour coastal drive to the meetinghouse of the Lahaina 1stWard. We were lovingly greeted by a few people we had met before including the bishop. It was a deeply meaningful sacrament meeting where we just worshipped and enjoyed the spirit, the messages, and the people. Each speaker spoke of challenges, and blessings and of their testimony of the Savior. We then drove another mile to the older meetinghouse, the home of the Lahaina 2nd Ward, Tongan speaking. It was our assignment to speak in sacrament meeting, fortunately in English.
As we entered the building and chapel, there was a familiar reverence, a temple spirit in the room. Two members quietly greeted us with a kind nod at the doorway. The bishopric were in their places on the rostrum. Two primary children were standing on opposite sides of the pulpit with arms folded. And through the chapel sound system we heard recorded angelic tabernacle choir music. We were shown to our seats and provided with headphones so we could hear translations of others. It was another spiritually joyful meeting including the Tongan-strong congregational singing. Familiar with the melodies we sang along, in English. Half way through the sacrament hymn, the bishopric counselor sitting next to me handed us an open Tongan hymnbook and pointed to the lyrics. We quickly did our best to sing the words in Tongan. It was a joyful experience. In English we gave our talks on Jesus Christ as our Advocate with the Father, and sang our duet, “My Shepherd will Supply My Need.” We felt on sacred ground as we sang, played our violin and guitar and looked into the faces of our Tongan brothers and sisters. (see pictures)
That evening we tuned-in to a memorial service held that day back on the mainland and experienced some tender moments. While praying we reflected on two particular scriptures. “The Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings…to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty…to comfort…to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning…” (Isaiah 61:1-3) “Therefore…let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” (D&C 123:17)
Monday morning it was Joan this time who awoke early. “Let’s go see the sunrise.” I looked at the time, “Hmm, too late to make it to the top of Haleakala. How about we go north to Waihe’e. It’s the fall equinox (and Joan’s birthday) We should get a good sunrise over the ocean from there.” (See pictures) For her birthday I promised Joan a visit to the Cat Café Maui. She spent a very happy hour visiting a room full of cats, holding them, playing with them, petting them and crocheting with them. (See pictures)
That night we returned to our duties as Group Leaders for Healing through the Savior, Addiction Recovery Program. We had a large group of special people demonstrate their humility and faith by having the courage to come and seek the Saviors power and healing. As we read together, and listened to each other, I was once again reminded that when Jesus bore the pains and sufferings for the atonement, he somehow saw and did it for all of us. (Isaiah 53:10) And as he did so, he turned his will over to God (John 6:38) and “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.” (Hebrews 12:2) As he found joy when he focused on us, I find joy when I focus on him.
After the meeting, Sister Hardman revealed her birthday carrot cake, for all to share. Happy Birthday, Joan!
While Joan and I have been serving on Maui, my brother Bob Hardman has been busy in retirement driving buses, refereeing soccer, and researching genealogy. During the latter he came across a ‘green temple’ symbol attached to a near relative. For those familiar (or unfamiliar) with FamilySearch.org, this means that the associated person or couple might have some unfinished temple work to be done. The couple is our mothers youngest sister and her husband, our Aunt Dee and Uncle Hal Reddick. When we were young we often visited and played with their children, our cousins. We didn’t have a lot of contact in our adult years. After more research on Hals ancestors, Bob contacted the oldest daughter Karen who confirmed that Dee and Hal had not been to the temple during life and she “was thrilled at the thought of her cousins doing her ancestors and parents temple work. We have her permission,” Bob said in a text to my siblings. After more discussion, plans were made for each of us to do specific ordinances in our local temples where our family members are living or serving missions (Orem, Buenos Ares, Hawaii, Idaho Falls, and Phoenix). After ordinances were performed in the Idaho Falls Temple, those who travelled there met with Karen afterwards. Bob reported, “The six of us visited just like close family… We shared old times and recent times. A closeness was felt, and some emotion shared. Karen seemed to be emotionally overjoyed that her parents work is getting done…” Spiritual experiences were reported by those doing the temple work, and by Karen. She reported to the family on our Griffin Facebook page, “I want to thank our cousins… It means SO much to me for all they are doing and to take the time to care. I am so sure that Mom and Dad are happy and that Grandma Griffin is even more pleased. This family are holding us together. Thank you, Aunt Dot and Uncle Glenn, for teaching your family to love and care…” Dot or Dorothy and Glenn are our parents. Karen’s post brought tears to our eyes.
Since Joan and I were traveling to Utah, Bob planned a session at Saratoga Springs for Hal and Dee’s sealing. As Joan and I knelt across the alter representing my aunt and uncle, the memories of Hal and Dee powerfully flooded my mind and heart. The spirit was tangible and we all knew there was special joy, even cheering among our ancestors that day in heaven.
The above story was a tender mercy in many ways after a painful Utah-local and world-impacting tragic event. We had traveled from Maui to San Diego on Monday, September 8 to visit family before going on to Utah for a couple of doctor’s appointments. While in California we had a joyful time with our daughter Bonnie, her wonderful husband David, and our grandson Dexter. They were so welcoming to us. We drove to Utah on September 10th. Mid-day, we and our whole family received a text from our daughter Melanie that started with, “Hey family, I just wanted to let you all know that I’m safe.” She then reported, “there was a shooting just barely at a public event on campus.” Melanie, as well as our grand-daughter, and a special friend of another grand-daughter are students at Utah Valley University (UVU) and were on campus at the time of the shooting. Melanie was locked down with other students in her building and reported what it was like among students who were getting immediate and graphic information via social media, even before information came to them from the school. Text messages of “shock, compassion, concern, and love” from family members poured back to Melanie on the text stream including status of other family and friends. The students were soon released to leave campus. We tuned in to news sources and the remaining drive through central Utah was heavy on our hearts. We eventually passed by UVU going toward our home where we were able to hug our daughter and get more details. Stating details of the event here is not my desire since the world is likely now tuned in to broadcasts of the latest. For me the days since that loss of life have been hard on my soul and I pray for peace, I pray for our world, I pray for people and leaders to turn to God and be wise and compassionate and to love one-another. We have since been able to hug and spend personal time with each family member who was on campus that day. We are grateful for their physical safety, and now we all work to recover from our emotional wounds.
As part of our therapy, Joan and I took a ride to our local and familiar mountains. We rode the Sundance Resort chair lifts to the top and breathed in Mount Timpanogos, the fresh air, life, beauty, memories, and each other’s company. We felt an extra measure of love for strangers that day we saw along the way. We felt a small tender measure of peace amidst the ashes of the week. We felt increased desire to love and care and be patient.
Back on Maui we are grateful for our friend and Senior Missionary, Elder Jeff Taylor who has substituted during our absence providing addiction recovery support meetings to our friends there. We know that mortality is challenging and that our good and loving Father in Heaven provided a Savior for us who has the power to redeem whatever needs to be redeemed. We know that as we believe in Him, and faithfully follow Him, we can be partakers of that sweet redemption and tender mercies. God bless you all.
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